Last Monday, I took the day off work to get errands done.
Result? Most frustrating day ever.
Firstly, I needed to go to the dmv and get a new license. I
googled their address.
Secondly, I needed to go to the registration place to get
new plates for my car.
Then I decided to go to the mall to do a little shopping and
look at comfy futons.
FINE. I went to Target and they no longer had a sample futon
out that I had seen a few weeks ago. So I decided to go to a mattress store to
check out futons there.
Then I gave up and went home. Because seriously, what the
fuck? My day would have more productive if I literally stayed in
bed all day.
Lesson learned. Don’t try to be productive, ever.
That sounds like the most frustrating Monday you could have even attempted to orchestrate. But as you have found, the solution to all of life's problems once again, is alcohol.
ReplyDeleteThwarted is a pretty good word. But if you say it over and over, it seems kind of weird! Ha! Sorry about your sucky Monday. But at least you're adding to your cork collection, right?
ReplyDeleteWTF? I would take all of those thwarts as a sign to get cozy with wine, no questions asked. Actually, any trip to the DMV would most likely warrant some wine, so you get double approval for that one.
ReplyDeleteYeah, this is why I rarely get out of my pajamas.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I carry wine with me everywhere - every errand is a success if you end up just sitting in your car in the parking lot getting drunk.
ReplyDeleteSorry your Monday sucked. Next time, try lowering your standards. Pledge only to wake up and then roll over and go back to bed. That way, even if you roll the wrong direction and fall on the floor, at least you've done way more than you planned on doing.
Call in sick Tuesday with a hangover.
ReplyDeleteNot thwarted.
Of course, there's that whole hangover thing.
But you could take a nap on your new futon.
A day off is not a day off if you intend to be productive.
ReplyDeleteProductivity sucks.
My dmv is open on mon I guess every state is different
ReplyDeleteWTF indeed...nothing ever comes easy anymore. I would rather take a beating than go to the DMV. I think Robyn's comment was spot on. Not the getting drunk in the car part but the setting the bar very low on what to accomplish any given day. Getting out of bed and brushing my teeth is about as far as I would want to commit to.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered why Garfield hated Mondays. It's because the DMV is closed.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you need to keep a futon? Get a real couch instead of the post-college-starter-couch!
ReplyDeleteOh man. That'll teach you for trying to responsible and all that.
ReplyDeletebeing productive is never the right answer!
ReplyDeleteWhew! For a moment I thought you were going to say the wine bottle was empty and you'd been thwarted again. Great word by the way, I should reintroduce it into my vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry it took you this long to learn that lesson!
ReplyDeletehttp://chooplah.blogspot.com
Seems like I'm the only person who read 'I would like to sample your futons' as a double entendre.
ReplyDeletePfft! Productivity is highly overrated. I suggest a life of apathy and sloth; it's worked quite well for me.
ReplyDeletehahaha. Just a terrible, terrible day for you. How can something not be open on a Monday?! Ridic.
ReplyDeleteThat B**ch Monday seriously kicked your butt.
ReplyDeleteI would've headed to the closest ice cream shop and drowned my sorrows in cold deliciousness with sprinkles!
ReplyDeleteSo, to sum up:
ReplyDeleteMondays suck.
Wine is good.
Got it, thanks.
The Hurricane would have flirted with the guy at the registration place and gotten her way. She would have tossed her hair at the guy in the store and he would have magically found a futon. She would have shown her muscles to the people hidden in the DMV and they would have opened just for her. I'm very sorry, but not everyone can be The Hurricane and never be thwarted.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Lola
I have lots of days like that. That's why I quit wearing pants 80% of the time. Why even bother?
ReplyDeleteThoughts of the DMV are a leading cause of drinking, swearing, and mutilating random town folk. I'm sure I read that somewhere...
ReplyDeleteIt's just that Mondays suck shoes and dirt. Don't ever try to do anything on a Monday. It's cousin, Stupid Sunday, is just as much of a douche.
ReplyDeleteWine never lets you down. That is why I love it so. That and it makes the demons in my head obey.
ReplyDeleteWine is always the right answer.
ReplyDeleteI cackled at the ...and a stick of gum. Hilarious, girl. Wine? YES. ALWAYS.
ReplyDeleteYou can't change your address online at the DMV site? That's what I did. It was wonderful.
ReplyDeleteAGH! I love your blog SO damned much!!!
ReplyDeleteAt least you tried to be productive. Better than me who would end up sitting around on a computer thinking about how he should have been productive.
ReplyDeleteI thought I had commented on this? I think my computer is going nuts...and I had written such a lovely loooong comment too!! Which I am too lazy to write over again... sigh...
ReplyDeleteAnywho, my fav line was the one about the stick of gum! hahahaha! You always make me laugh..I love your blog! :)
HAHAHA I love the forecast :)
ReplyDelete