Me: Hi Allie!
Allie: HEYYYYYYYYY girlfriend! What’s up?!
Me: Are you drunk?
Allie: Whaaaat? Nooooo…..
Me: *sniffs* I can smell booze on your breath!
Allie: I just had a tiny bit…
Me: Allie, you were supposed to come talk about your plans
for St Paddy’s Day. You weren’t supposed to be drunk yet.
Allie: The bar specials start now! I’m nothing if not
thrifty.
Me: Damnit, Allie.
Allie: Why don’t I sing more often? I have a great voice…
Me: Allie no-
Allie: I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT. WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT.
Me: Are you singing Spice Girls?
Allie: Gia, your line is “So tell me what you want, what you
really really want.”
Me: NO.
Allie: IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS…
Me: What does that even mean??
Allie: Hell if I know…
Me: C’mon, let’s give this interview a shot.
Allie: SHOT? DID YOU SAY SHOTS?
Me: Oh fuck.
Allie: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
Me: ugh.
Allie: I WANT SHOTS AND MORE BEADS.
Me: This interview is over.
What does that line mean? Is it some kinky sex club the Spice Girls are part of? I wonder what it looks like when an alligator vomits.
ReplyDeleteRight? Hey Boyfriend, you are NOT allowed to "get with my friends."
DeleteYes, the Spice Girls were really that bad.
ReplyDeleteI'll be in NYC for St. Paddy's, so I'll be pub crawling and watching the parade. You could have a similar interview with me on Saturday night if you'd like, only I tend to sing more classic rock as opposed to pop. Just warning you.
I got your beads right here. I mean,really, I got beads for every occasion. Where I live, if we got nothing else, we got beads!
ReplyDeleteI'll be crawling in NYC on Saturday. I went last year and had a blast. Hoping to have a repeat performance. I like Allie's suit change! I'll do shots with her!
ReplyDeleteI am hanging in DC on St. Patty's Day. Allie would be a lot of fun to have along! Well, as long as she didn't sing The Spice Girls...
ReplyDeleteRemind me to never interview a drunk gator! Spice girls...NOOOOO! Pain to my ears!
ReplyDeleteI'm with allie...Shots, Shots, Shots!!
ReplyDeletehahaha and there's NOTHING wrong with the Spice Girls. I still think they rock!
OMG!! Why don't I read your blog more often??
ReplyDeleteI'm dumb. It's the only plausible explanation.
*bookmarks*
I've never understood that line, either. When I was, oh, nine years old, I thought it meant that the guy had to be accepting of the friends in question. Yeesh.
ReplyDelete-Barb the French Bean
I'll be touring a local brewery for St. Paddy's. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteAnd just a suggestion? Two words: "Irish Car-bomb". Ask your bartender for one.
You can thank me later.
This is why we can't have nice things
ReplyDeleteDrunk gators... I tell you what...
ReplyDeletehahaha. the spice girls. i remember being in high school when that song came out :)
ReplyDeleteOh good lord. I did that song for karaoke with a bunch of friends at a gay club back in the day. We all had a ton of tattoos and blue hair and such. It was horrific.
ReplyDeleteI NEVER went out drinking on St. Paddy's 'cause it's always amateur hour. Those of us that drank heavily on a regular basis, didn't need an excuse to drink like a fish. We called it "a day that ends in Y."
Wow. Now I feel really, really, REALLY old. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteHurray, a drunk Allie! She's so cute... and just love her singing!
ReplyDeletewait if you want to be her lover you have to get giddy with her friends? That doesn't sound right spice girls...that doesn't sound right!
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want . . . except I'm too old to remember what I want.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I've been very drunk, and very singy before. But I don't think I've ever been drunk enough to sing the Spice Girls.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure there's enough alcohol for that.
Nothing good ever comes from shots.
ReplyDeleteEven if your pants come off.
Allie is such a lush.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lush
Hahaha! She's getting a really early start. I want shots too!
ReplyDeleteFriends share, you know?
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess my weekend isn't going to be sober...
ReplyDeleteThat 'if you want to be my lover' line means that...shit, I dunno.
ReplyDelete"SLAM YOUR BODY DOWN AND WIND IT ALL AROUND . . . SLAM YOUR BODY DOWN AND ZIG A ZIG AH".
ReplyDeletePhew. I'm glad I got that out of my system!