Monday, March 12, 2012

And Then I Ate the World’s Best Burrito.

Alternative Titles for this Post:
Burritos: A life changing experience
So this is Happiness 
An Ode to a Burrito

So Boyfriend and I (read: I) wanted Mexican food last week. We have an On the Border near us, but the service is kind of terrible (and my coworkers were going to eat at the restaurant next to it, so we figured the odds of us running into them were 104%). I googled, and found a hole-in-the-wall place that we could get some takeout from. It was like a tiny pizza parlor – we could have eaten there, but there was no alcohol available, so we picked up burritos and guacamole and brought it to my place.



Naturally, we poured some wine and sat down to eat. First, the chips and guacamole. They were DELICOUS. The chips were pretty greasy, but in a delicious way (okay, in a “my insides would die if I ate these chips often” kind of way. But still delicious).

Then….the BURRITO.  I got a vegetarian one. Firstly, it was HUGE. Like the size of a Chihuahua, approximately.
It might not look like anything fancy from the outside. Do not be deceived.

And it was DELICIOUS. And huge. And delicious. It was like eating heaven, if heaven were in Mexico and meat-free. Boyfriend’s was chicken, and I’m pretty sure he liked his too.
I didn't even remember drawing this one.
He managed to devour his, while I ate about 70% of mine and wrapped the rest up for leftovers. I didn’t want to get to a place where I felt absolutely sick and it turned me off of them – you know, like when you drink way too much coconut rum and vomit and get an aversion to coconut rum even though its delicious and not the rum’s fault?
I know I drew this bad. Also, Boyfriend told me I did. So yeah. They can't all be winners.

Anyhoo, delicious. Boyfriend liked it, but not as much as I did. It was kind of a life changing experience for me. I wanted to have the capacity to finish the burrito at once, but I couldn’t after all that wine and chips and salsa. I went to bed like this:

Guys, I LIKE food, but not usually like this. This was special. I just wanted to spoon Boyfriend and burrito all night long, and feel fulfilled in life.


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[Linking up with yeahwrite! Also, apparently it's the "week of the haiku" which is super ironic because do you all remember when I gave you a sneak peak of this post on Friday? It was, a-hem, a burrito themed haiku. 

Make my mouth water
With all your deliciousness
Sexy burrito.

So I'm psychic or it's fate or something like that. Pretty much, I'm awesomesauce. You're welcome, universe.]


66 comments:

  1. Holy guacamole, I want to eat-o THAT burrito.

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  2. If there was one type of food I was relegated to in life, I would choose Mexican food. A good Mexican food place is precious. Although, I don't know how long your relationship would last if you insisted on the burrito being involved in all spooning activities.

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  3. I can't get a hug around here but the burrito gets a spoon.

    This is crap man.

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  4. LOL I wish we had inside photos, I'm so hungry and on a diet I need food porn! xx

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  5. Hahaha. I will now always think of you when I see a burrito. Vegetarian or not :)

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  6. If boyfriend was feeling a little burrito bloat, I wouldn't recommend spooning him TOO tightly, lest you get an immediate return on that edible investment.

    However, feel free to molest said burrito. Completely understandable.

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  7. Try the burrito without all the wine, and then get back to me with your revised opinion.

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  8. Oh Gia.. wine and mexican food? It sounds perfect! I love burritos.. I want one right now

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  9. When you had a dream about the burrito saying Ole, I almost peed myself! I said, almost... :P

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  10. Heaven might be in Mexico, but it's definitely not meat free. It's a huge piece of greasy, salty bacon, and I'm sorry you had to hear it from me, my vegetarian friend.

    Also, regarding your comment today, I had a friend who worked at Bonfils Blood Center, and the CEO/higher ups all get ridiculous 6-figure wages that border on millions. I think all of it's just crazy and wrong. And honestly, when $30,000 is the median household income in the US (I survive on it just fine, as you said, you survive on it as well), 3 times that IS a crazy amount, and not something I would call fair compensation for someone who would rather that money go to themselves than to the cause they're claiming to be fighting so hard for.

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  11. Hmmm, not much on Mexican but I can relate to the Coconut Rum, only in my case it was that Midori Melon yummy stuff. Also, what do you have against your co-workers?

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  12. You just made a pregnant lady REALLY want a burrito. At 10am. I think I know where I will be going for lunch!!! LOL!

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  13. I'm a HUGE fan of Italian cuisine but I'm going to say the Mexican/Tex-Mex/Taco anything is better. it's like the commerical says, there's something about the 5 food groups being wrapped up in a warm tortilla or in a crunchy shell that just makes them taste better. O-fucking-le!

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  14. It's 9:25 in the morning here, but this really made me want a burrito. Plus greasy chips.

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  15. Ha! I know what you mean: I can't touch Captain Morgan after my sophomore year of college. Glad you found food heaven.

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  16. I recently had a similar experience with a burger. Despite the protests from my stomach, I wanted to devour it ALL. Darn those taste buds of mine!

    -Barb the French Bean

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  17. That burrito looks amazing. Do you guys have a Chipotle where you are? Those burritos are pretty fantastic despite being a chain. But, all the best foods come from "holl-in-the-wall" places. It's weird.

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  18. Spooning a burrito is a funny mental image.

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  19. It's a trap! The burrito was obviously filled with psychotropic hallucinogens, otherwise you wouldn't dreaming of anthropomorphic burritos that say "ole"! Today he's asking you eat him, but tomorrow he's asking you to overthrow the state by depositing your funds into Cuban cigar tubes, which will be used to construct a death laser which points at the White House!

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  20. Burritos are infinitely superior to tacos.

    As a child, whenever we had tacos to dinner I insisted on having a tortilla so I could perform the needed transformation. Who wants to eat filling delicately squashed between two layers of fragile chip, head turned 90 degrees sideways so the food doesn't escape onto the floor/

    Not me. Burritos are where it's at!

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  21. I'm still looking for my magical hole-in-the-wall Mexican food place because I fucking LOVE Mexican food. It's funny that you mentioned On the Border since that's my poison around here. I know about half the servers so I have the advantage of their toastados without the urge to kill over the service.

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  22. I am surrounded by awesome hole in the wall Mexican joints. However, here NONE of them are vegetarian. They all use a ton of lard to make their beans, so I can't take my boyfriend to any of them. Mmmmm, lardy bean burritos!

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  23. Better than Moe's? Or Qdoba? Do you guys have those? yum.

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  24. I just ate a whole load of home-made chili con carne but now I am CRAVING a burrito, damn you!

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  25. What is it with On the Border? We have one here and the service has always sucked. We won't go there anymore despite the deliciousness of the cheese dip.

    I felt that way about a pizza once from a new pizza place, but I think it was because I was really, really hungry at the time, because the next time I ate the same pizza, I was all, meh, it's okay.

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  26. "We could have eaten there, but there was no alcohol available, so we picked up burritos and guacamole and brought it to my place."

    The availability of alcohol dictates where I eat, too!

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  27. I don't drink, but I do love Mexican. There is a place here called La Hacienda. The servings are so huge, they intimidate me.

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  28. I love burritos. When I go to Mexico, burritos are all I eat, because it's true and authentic Mexican food. That country is all burritos, as far as the eye can see. Also, none of this is true. I am allergic to gluten and I have yet to see a restaurant serve burritos in Mexico.

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  29. I'm really glad you had such a life changing burrito experience! :)

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  30. I love burritos because I think they are sent by angels with its heavenly goodness and shit. But my mom hates them. She says they smell like a hobo's armpit.

    She didn't exactly say "hobo's armpit" but that's how I interpreted it. Don't judge.

    :p

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  31. Glad you found burrito heaven. I am drooling over your guacamole/ How delicious was it?

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  32. Will you marry me? Only not in a lesbian way, just in a hanging out eating Mexican food and you drawing cartoons of us way.

    Thank you.

    ~The G is Silent

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  33. That burrito reminds me of my son when he was a newborn. All swaddled up and delicious.

    Was that weird?

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  34. um...that.looks.fantastic. all of it. I'll take it all. even the-not remembering-that-I-drew-this-amazing-picture-later-part... :)

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  35. Mmmmmm Mexican food! You know what I love about being in Mexico? I don't need to ask for Mexican food. I just go out and ask for food and automatically get Mexican food. It's the bestest.

    p.s. Tonight I made the shrimp empenada my bitch.

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  36. Just found your blog via The Bloggess! So glad I did!

    And not just because you share my love for vegetarian burritos and cartoons.

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  37. Mmmm burritos are great - and then if they're sexy burritos even better! I tried not to envision the boyfriend/you/burrrito spooning scene too graphically... although now that I've typed this, I can't help but think of it lol

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  38. I am so jealous! They don't have great burritos in the UK like they do in the US and you just ruined my day because now I want one so bad and I cant have one. I am not mad though. Because burittos.

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  39. A burrito the size of a Chihuahua? Perfection.

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  40. Now I'm hungry! I've seen some giant burritos before, too, but I always think they look too hard to eat, so I break them up and eat them with a fork because I'm lazy like that.

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  41. Hilarious! I especially loved the Eat me! Ole! burrito. I think I'm going to have to have a burrito for lunch. And chips. And guacamole. I love guacamole.

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  42. (apologies if this is a duplicate - I wrote on the train, and then lost my connection when posting! Gah!)

    I have long been a denizen of Taco Town. A *loyal* denizen - burritos were for those few weirdos who liked boring flour tortillas instead of delicious (and sometimes crunchy!) corn tortillas.

    Until I found Cha Cha Cha Taqueria, near my office on Beacon Hill Boston.

    The first time, it was an accident. I didn't mean to cheat, but the guy at the counter made a burrito when I *specifically* requested a taco. Still, not being a jerkface, and also being a hungry dude, I did not make him start over.

    I hurried back to my office, my heart aflutter with guilt and excitement. I closed the door, and put all of my pictures of tacos face-down on my desk. I didn't want them to see my shame.

    I slowly unwrapped the burrito, taking in its delicate scent, and shuddering with antici......pation. I leaned in for the first soft bite - and pulled back just before my lips met its haughty folds. What was I doing?

    "No," I whispered. "I can't. I...I'm a taco man!"

    "You must," the burrito seemed to whisper back.

    I did.

    I felt things I hadn't felt in years, sensations of wild abandon, excitement of exploring a full bodied-flavor new to me, yet familiar in its form. Now, burritos and I have a weekly discrete rendez-vous in my office at lunch hour.

    Please don't tell tacos. I love them - maybe more than ever. They are my steadfast compaion, always there for me. But burritos - they are my excitement.

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  43. I'm going to start shouting: "eat me! Ole!" in traffic. I live in Texas so I feel it's pretty relevant. Awesome.

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  44. Mmmmmmmm burrito. Alternative post title: Do not read this if you haven't had any lunch yet.

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  45. You had me at magic bag of goodness. I know what is for dinner tonight now

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  46. You are so very funny: especially the comparison of the burrito being about the size of a chihuahua. And wanting to spoon the burrito and your BF all night long. I loed this!

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  47. I could eat chips and guac with every meal of the day. Oh and wine too.

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  48. Oh man, now I want a burrito! For some reason my mind is flooded with images of a Chihuahua dancing on a dinner plate now. So thanks for that.

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  49. A good, hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant is hard to find. We had one in my college town that, sadly, is no more. I still dream about their burritos.

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  50. I love burritos. Love them. I ate them so often during pregnancy that I'm pretty sure my babies are at least 90% burrito at birth. Truth.

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  51. We have a place called "on the border" by us too but it's a strip club. Thinking they would not have as good of food as yours.......

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  52. I so get this ... I think you owe your coworkers a thank-you note. Had the threat of running into them not existed, you would not have found heaven.

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  53. I would like a bite
    Of your sexy burrito
    Please won't you share some?

    Love your blog! I, too, hate running into people and share a love of huge delicious burritos.

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  54. The burrito might well be the best thing ever invented! Great post!

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  55. As Mexican, I wish I could give my 2cents on the subject. All I can say is beef cheek tacos.

    www.mamaandthecity.com

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  56. Can you only want to spoon "sexy" food if it's remotely phallic? Just asking...

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  57. That was one big burrito. And now I'm going to meditate on burritos, haiku, and the power of guacamole. ELlen

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  58. Ay, burrito. Was it perchance a Freebirds? Also re: coconut rum, I've HEARD that drinking to too much goldschlager will ruin a person on goldschlager...

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  59. i wanna spoon you and your blog for making me laugh so hard two weeks in a row (just found you last week via yeahwrite)

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  60. I love that you said 70%, not three-quarters or almost all. As always, freaking hilarious!

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  61. I think burritos are a lot like pizza. Even bad ones, are still good!

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  62. Awesome drawings, as usual. I especially like the way you draw a burrito. It makes me hungry. Oh, and I think you and Boyfriend and that Burrito from Heaven could all live happily ever after together. Sounds like a pretty perfect life to me.

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  63. I love your blog and your drawings, sofaking fabulous! I'm reading the boyfriend interview next.

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  64. Thank you. I am now craving Mexican and we have shitty Mexican restaurants here. One time in college I drank a bucket full of coconut rum and pineapple juice. The next day my whole apartment smelled like pineapple. *GAG* I can no longer drink it. But coconut rum? Yes please!

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  65. Mmm. . . sexy burrito.

    I just ate too many cream cheese frosted Girl Scout Trefoils, so I'm understanding your desire to keep from bingeing.

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