My Appliances are Against Me

The apartment Roomie and I share is kind of, oh, falling apart. It’s on the older side, so at first I thought it was just that things were breaking down and needed to be replaced. Not a huge deal, right? But now I see no, that’s not what’s happening. My apartment’s appliances are systemically trying to drive me insane.

And they’re succeeding.

First, we have the air conditioning. Over the summer, it broke. As in, it was 89 degrees INSIDE the apartment. Apparently the motor for it is not big enough to maintain the whole apartment. Seems plausible, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. 

We sweated like beasts for a few days and got a repairman in to fix it.

Next, we have the washer/dryer. Since I started living here two years ago, it was causing major problems. It was a really old machine from the 70s, and wouldn’t really dry anything cotton (just got it all wrinkly and clumpy). Then, the dryer would randomly turn off mid cycle, so it would take approximately 6 hours to get a load of laundry dry. God help you if you were washing sheets. Mind you, this was occurring over the summer, when we were sweating like beasts. 

FINALLY, I managed to convince Landlord we needed a new washer/dryer. She’s super cheap, so she left the old, broken washer/dryer from the 70s in our living room for awhile to see if she could see it on Craigslist (yes, you read that right).

But THEN – the new washer/dryer kept making the circuit breaker pop, and we’d randomly lose power in our kitchen. And the circuit box started making a weird buzzy noise.  So we had an electrician come in back on October. To quote a previous post: The electrician told roomie and I not to worry too much, just don’t leave the apartment or fall asleep while doing laundry. Oh and periodically touch the circuit breaker box while the washer/dryer are on to make sure its not hot and there’s not, you know, A RAGING FIRE IN OUR WALLS. 

 

Yeah, that was an issue. The electrician came like two weeks ago, so we have functioning electricity now. Yaaaay.

But now, the kitchen is turning on us. The faucet is leaking significant amounts of water at its base every time we turn it on and is rusting and is probably going to snap off soon. 

I told landlord, but I don’t think she cares. You know, until it snaps off and floods the place.

Additionally, we find puddles of water outside our refrigerator in the morning. Honestly, I actually feel a little bad for the fridge, I mean its 30 years old and still not potty trained? Embarrassing. I try not to shame it, but for the love of God, STOP MAKING PUDDLES!

The other day, I found a similar puddle in front of the dishwasher. The incontinence is spreading.

Guys, these are just the main issues. I’m not going to go into the fact that the pilot light goes out in the warmer weather so during the random Halloween blizzard we had no heat for the better part of the day, or the fact that Roomie’s toilet only works say 50% of the time, or that she doesn’t really get heat or a/c in her room. 

Clearly, they’re organized, committed, and out to get me.

Wish me luck guys.  Lease doesn’t end til May.

I need a pillow fort.