Pussies Against Grabbing

Some of you longtime readers might remember the DARD - Ducks Against Raping Ducks - movement of 2012-13. 

its effect on duck rape remains to be seen

Well, I guess that inspired someone else, because I recently came home to this:

Yep. 

But let's not forget the fact that trump is a misogynist piece of shit

at least its not breitbart.

Typical low-information kitty. Anyway, she's starting a movement. Enjoy:

Springtime and Ducks!

So, the weather is finally nice, which means I'm going for walks again. 

I walked by a river, where I spotted an all white duck.

I love all ducks, but I never see all white ones, so this was a special treat. 

Then I watched the pretty white lady girl duck approach a less pretty (but still wonderful) brown lady duck. 

And then it happened. 

Yes, that's right. My pretty white lady duck was actually a horrific rapist boy duck! And even though I've done my part to bring attention to the issue of duck rape, this is the first time I saw it occur in real life. I. Am. Traumatized. 

 I know it's been awhile since I brought up DARD, but #neverforget:

DARD Summer Update

Me: Hey Ducky! How’s Ducks Against Raping Ducks?

Ducky: HI GIA HOW’S IT GOING?

Me: Uhh why are you yelling?

Ducky: I’M NOT YELLING I’M JUST EXCITED!!!1

Me: About what?

Ducky: That you’ve figured out how to do polls! I want to do a duck rape poll!

Me: Um, okay. Please don’t ask me to ask my readers if they’ve ever raped a duck. I may not be emotionally prepared for their answers

Ducky: No silly. Ask them how they feel about duck rape.

Me: Here goes:

How do you feel about duck rape?

Not sure how that last one snuck in there.

Me: Let’s hope my readers aren’t total degenerates, Ducky.

Ducky: Uhoh. I should have thought this through.

Ducklings!

I was outside last week and a bunch of adorable ducklings came out:

Ducky: Wait a second, Gia.

Me: Uh oh Ducky, what’s up?

Ducky: Half of those ducklings are going to grow up to be rapists!!!

Me: Aww cmon now…

Ducky: DUCK RAPE IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM GIA. 

Me: I know, I know. Ducks Against Raping Ducks!

Ducky: Right!

Me: Did it occur to you that those ducklings might be a result of rape, Ducky??

Ducky: OH MY GOD I DID NOT BUT YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

Me: Those cute little rape ducklings. I wonder if their mama duck resents them.

Ducky: I need to find them and teach them about the dangers of rape! If we start them young, they’ll grow up to support DARD!

Me: Yes, we should do that?

Ducky: Did you say we?

Me: I think I should come along for this trip…

Ducky: And why is that Gia?

Me: So I can see the ducklings and hold them and love them and cuddle them AHHH THEY’RE JUST TOO CUTE AND FUZZY!!!!

Ducky: Stay away from the ducklings, Gia.
Me: Damnit. 

DARD: Spring Update

Me: Why, hello ducky!

Ducky: Hi Gia

Me: How’s ducks against raping ducks going?

Ducky: Um, okay.

Me: Just okay?

Ducky: Well, we’ve definitely cut down on local duck rape.

Me: Congrats!

Ducky: But have you watched the news? Human rape is a real problem!

Me: I know, I know.

Ducky: Like those two recent cases of girls being raped while they’re unconscious and later committing suicide because the rapists took pictures of it and they were tormented about it at school? 

Me: I know, it’s horrible

Ducky: Fuck yeah it is! Ducks don’t even do that to each other, Gia. DUCKS.

Me: Yep

Ducky: AND WE’RE THE RAPIEST OF ALL ANIMALS.

Me: Rape culture is a problem here

Ducky: Yeah, no fucking joke that rape culture is a problem! Why do you teach girls not to get raped instead of teaching boys not to rape? It blames the victim!

Me: Well I personally don’t I mean I’m a feminist…

Ducky: You know what I mean.

Me: I can’t answer this question. 

Ducky: It’s terrible. I mean, what’s the point of giving out rape whistles if unconscious people are getting raped?!?! HMM??

Me: Not sure…

Ducky: I need to come up with a new pamphlet to hand out.

Me: Oh yeah?

Ducky: Yep, something like this:

 

Ducky is a real go-getter

Happy Halloween Everyone!

So, I’m writing this on Monday, when I still have power. I’ll probably have another hurricane post on Friday, but this one is ready to go and scheduled.

Allie was a mummy last year, remember:

Anyhoo, you know how I decided to start adult Halloween, aka trick-or-wine?

Well, it’s still a genius idea, of course. But not all my animal friends like wine. And since a lot of them dressed up, they decided that they should share how they’d like to celebrate Halloween.

Allie:

Popsicle:

Sparkles the Unicorn:

Melissa the Manatee: 

Ducky:

Ducks Against Raping Ducks (and humans). Spread the word.

Pigletta:

Trick. Always trick.

Ellie the Elephant:

Whatever you want, you creepy ass clown elephant.

Lioness:

Ouch.

Whale:

Oh and this: