Popsicle’s Hat

Me: Hi Popsicle the Polar Bear!

Popsicle: Hey Gia

Me: Look, I got you a hat!

Popsicle: Errr, thanks.

Me: What, what’s wrong?

Popsicle: It’s tiny. I look ridiculous

Me: You look adorable. You just need a bow tie to go with it.

Popsicle: Don’t even think about it! Where do they even sell these hats?!?  Is it for a ken doll?

Me: No, Boyfriend got it off the top of a bottle of gin.

Popsicle: Can I have some of the gin?

Me: No, bloggers don’t let bears drink and….maul stuff?

Popsicle: Lame, Gia

Me: It’s already all gone.

Popsicle: DAMNIT! I HATE THIS TINY HAT!!

Me: Allie likes it

Popsicle: Allie likes everything

Me: What kind of hat would you want?

Popsicle: A  big one, to make me look distinguished.

Me: Okay, how about this?

Popsicle: Better. I look fancy now.

Makey Makey and Popsicle

I got Boyfriend a Makey Makey for Christmas because it’s a toy and it looked fun stop judging me.

For those of you know don’t know what it is, Makey Makey is a kit that allows you go hook stuff up to your computer and use it as a mouse and keyboard. Like a banana mouse or something. I don’t know. Google it.

Anyway, he brought it over a few weeks ago so I could play with it. Let’s see, what could I hook up to makey make?

I used pennies and dimes! Woohoo! But I knew I could do better than that.

Me: Oh my gosh look Popsicle! You’re controlling the computer!

Popsicle: WOOHOO THIS IS FUN!

Me: Whatcha doin?

Popsicle: Shhhh I'm playing world of warcraft. 

Me You go, bear!

Popsicle: Hey, is this what it’s like to be a cyborg?

Me: Uhhh what?

Popsicle: Nevermind.

It’s a cool toy, guys. Even if I do say so myself. 

Popsicle: I AM THE ALL POWERFUL KING OF THE MACBOOK!!!

Popsicle's March Madness

Me: Hi Popsicle!

Popsicle: Uhhh hey Gia

Me: You look down. What's wrong?

Popsicle: Look, I need a favor.

Me: Okay, what’s up?

Popsicle: I need to borrow some money.

Me: What?!! Why?

Popsicle: I picked Gonzaga to win the whole thing and now I’m in some trouble and I owe a guy some money.

Me: Wait, what? Are we talking about March Madness brackets?

Popsicle: Yes! And I watched all the games this season and read all the expert analysis. And then I picked Gonzaga and Georgetown in the final.

Me: Oh no.

Popsicle: Oh yes. And I owe a guy, Gia. And he’s pretty tough. Can you help a bear out?

Me: How much do you need?

Popsicle: Uhhh... 2k.

Me: POPSICLE I DON’T HAVE 2,000 DOLLARS!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Popsicle: DON’T YELL AT ME GIA! I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONZAGA’S YEAR!

Me: You shouldn’t be gambling.

Popsicle: Please! You manage your work’s bracket!

Me: Um, it cost $10 to play.

Popsicle: You gotta spend money to make money, Gia.

Me: Yeah sure. Look, I don’t have that much money. I know Allie has a nice savings, though. Ask her.

Popsicle: Ughhhhhhhhhhh

Me: What?

Popsicle: I know, but I didn’t want to ask her.

Me: Why not?

Popsicle: She maybe doesn’t know about the gambling

Me: Popsicle!

Popsicle: She’s going to be such a naaaaaag.

Me: Go tell her what you did right now!

Popsicle: You KNOW she’s going to make a big deal about this.

Me: It IS a big deal, Popsicle! Promise me you’ll stop gambling.

Popsicle: Are you kidding??

Me: Popsicle….

Popsicle: I will bet you ten bucks that I can stop gambling for three months!

Me: *facepalm * Go talk to Allie.

Sigh! Polar bears and their gambling addictions. Who’s with me?! 

In Another Episode of Animal Shaming..

Me: Hey Popsicle

Popsicle: Hey Gia! Ready for the football game?

Me: Yeah yeah. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. I think you know what.

Popsicle: Nope, no idea

Me: Yes you do. That thing you did last week. 

Popsicle: NOPE.

Me: Well then. Time to get shamed: 

Popsicle: AHHHHHH!

Me: Popsicle, how could you! You used to care so much about the environment!

Popsicle: I do I do, but I accidentally threw away a glass jar...

Me: NOT RECYCLE, Popsicle? Really?

Popsicle: It was ONE time. 

Me: Sure, and it’s just one more iceberg melting…

Popsicle: Stop it

Me: POLAR BEARS ARE GONNA BE EXTINCT.

Popsicle: Damnit Gia! Stop making me feel bad! You’re not perfect either!

Me: Yes I am! I won the Girlfriend Olympics!

Popsicle: Oh really? Well how about this!

Me: Well played, sir.

Lessons learned: Always recycle. And don't get caught drinking Boyfriend's wine.