Career Choices

So, I currently work for a nonprofit. I won’t be doing this particular job forever, and lately I’ve been thinking about what my career options are. I’ve come up with a few:

Ok, I don’t know why I thought dance was an option. Hmm, I’m kind of handy.

I did not think that one through. Next!

I have a thing about pulses…I don’t know.

I don’t see a  downside here.

What’s your dream job?

A Short Friday Post Because I’m Drinking Rather Quickly on Thursday Night

Wow this week was long. I’m working on a post about the Wooing of Boyfriend, but I had to work late tonight and I have to pack and I’m drinking so it just ain’t happening tonight. However, there are two important things I need to go over:

1. I WAS RIGHT.

Remember that time I was right about the snow? And I created that picture that said I was right and stated how I wanted to use it as often as possible? Well, guess what, I WAS RIGHT AGAIN.

This time, it was about the movie Red State. Boyfriend and I both aren’t really a fan of horror/torture movies. But he listened to a bunch of podcases about it and said it was on Netflix and he wanted to watch it. The following convo took place:

Boyfriend: Do you wanna watch it with me or should I watch it by myself?

Me: Umm…. [trying to be the coolest girlfriend ever but also knowing I’m a wuss] maybe?

Boyfriend: Are you scared?

Me: No! Ummm…I kinda wanna see it.

Boyfriend: You don’t have to look during any bad parts.

Me: Yeah, and we’re not watching it on a big screen. Just my tiny laptop

Boyfriend: It’ll be fine.

Me: [the coolest girlfriend in the whole wide world] Okay

Famous frickin’ last words. We watched it Wed night, and that shit was fucked up! I mean the whole thing got pretty bloody, but there was one particularly awful scene that stayed with us the rest of night . I won’t tell you the ending, but if you want some advice, then SPOILER ALERT [highlight to read]: Don’t get invested in any of the characters. Anyone. Seriously. Also, stay away from saran wrap.

Anyway, it left Boyfriend pretty disturbed too. So THERE! I was RIGHT! It was a terrible idea to watch this movie.  Sure, I didn’t say “It’s a terrible idea to watch this movie,” but Boyfriend could sense my reluctance. Unfortunately, instead of being like this:

I’m more like this:

Goodbye, innocence.

2. I’m going to seaside town with Boyfriend this weekend! YAAAAY! Allie’s coming too. She’s been feeling a bit insecure after those things imaginary reader was saying about her, so I decided to bring her along this time. I hope the witch doesn’t find us.

Ok, it’s time to drink and pack and hope I don’t forget clean socks and underwear and deodorant because I did too much drinking before packing. Have a great weekend everyone!!

Second Grade Was a Very Big Year for Me

So, as I previously noted, I am a vegetarian. No one else in my family is a vegetarian; actually we’re Italian, so they’re pretty ashamed of my unwillingness to eat meat. When I said I wanted to stop eating meat in the second grade, my mom thought it was a phase and went with it. But it wasn’t. I think second grade is about the time when you really start making the connection between animals and meat.

I realized that when I was eating spaghetti and meatballs:

It's spaghetti and meatballs. Shut up.

or a hamburger:

I was actually eating Bessie the Cow. :(

My little second grade self was deeply disturbed to learn where grandma’s meatballs really came from.

Also, we were learning a lot about American Indians and for some reason, the idea of whale-hunting really upset me.

In-a-not-totally-unrelated-way, second grade was also the year that I found out I was a wussie. I don’t actually mind the sight of blood, but talking about your heart and blood and circulatory systems and pulses (ugh, pulses!) really freaks me out. I know I know, “but a pulse is a GOOD thing,” and I agree, but if you try to touch my pulse, I will poke your eye out (oh, maybe boyfriend isn’t totally an innocent victim, eh??).

Anyhoo, I remember a distinct episode in second grade when I came to realize this about myself. The teacher was telling us about blood and pulses and other gross stuff, and we were practicing feeling our pulses, then jogging in place and feeling them again. I was completely disgusted and blatantly pressing my fingers on my jaw in an attempt to make sure I didn’t accidentally feel my neck pulse, but I was still getting totally woozy.

I guess I was looking a little pale, because the teacher was all:

 But what I saw was:

I had never been lightheaded before, so of course I thought I was going blind or dying or something equally traumatic. I went up to the teacher and told her there were spots in my eyes and I couldn’t see, so she made me put my head on my desk for the rest of the class. And that’s how I almost passed out in second grade. 

 

I probably should have called this post “The Year I discovered I was a Wussie” because I clearly couldn’t handle anything icky. I’d like to pretend I outgrew it, but I’m still a vegetarian and I BARELY got through junior year health class (CPR. Pulse feeling and heart beating. Ick. ICK ICK.) BONUS embarrassing confession: Even writing about pulses is making me feel a little iffy. I was going to draw another picture to go with this, but really I just need to stop thinking about it.  Shudder.