Going Blind Would Be Great

As I’ve written before, I’m blind as a bat. I went to the eye doc a little over a year ago, but since then, my vision has gotten worse again. I’m going to the eye doctor today for a new prescription.

It’s sad for me. I want laser vision surgery some day when I’m not quite so poor.

Anyway, Boyfriend and I recently had this conversation:

(I can’t have pets in my lease. It’s very sad for me. I want a cat.)

You guys, wouldn’t that be AMAZING?

And my landlord would HAVE to let me have them.

I’d be the happiest blind person in the whole wide world.

Seriously you guys, I can’t wait.

Lessons from My Eye Doctor

So, as I’ve blogged about before, I have terrible eyesight. My very exciting eye doctor appointment was last Tuesday! WOOHOO! So, here are some things I learned:

1. The EYE DOCTOR should have a very large and clear sign outside their building. Because it was dark and raining and on a road that had a ton of office buildings. And guess what?  I couldn’t figure out which building it was. 

Oh yeah, that's totally clear.

Also, when you walk into a building, the address should be CLEARLY labeled somewhere. Because I walked into the wrong building. And I didn’t know that because the address wasn’t ANYWHERE. So I found a suite where there was a woman behind a desk, so I proceeded to try to open the glass doors, but they were locked.  Holy embarrassing. Two businessmen came out and asked if they could help me, and I had to ask what building I was in.  Cringe. Oh, and by the time I got to the right building, I was late. And I hate being late. Because I’m crazy.

2. Fancy private eye doctors are no better than Walmart. Seriously. I hadn’t been to a real eye doc since I was a kid, so I guess I didn’t really remember that its all the EXACT same thing. I read some letters, they did the whole “is this better, or this?” and they told me my prescription hasn’t changed. Bam! The homeless guy standing outside of my work could do that. Except they charged twice as much. So, there’s that.

Also, they don’t make the letters big enough. Honestly, without my glasses on, I couldn’t even see there was a letter there. At first it looked like this:

Seriously, WTF is that?

So they had to let me use my glasses to see anything at all.

Oh, I see. Assholes.

3. Holy shit is it hard to pick out glasses by yourself. So even though my prescription didn’t change, my current lenses are chipped and awful, so I needed new glasses. The consultant they had was nice and helpful, but there are SO MANY glasses. Seriously. My head was spinning. 

Too retro

 

Too round

Too square

Ad nauseum.

Unfortunately, the first three frames I narrowed it down to were WAY too expensive, so I made her find me two cheaper pairs. They were very similar - one brown and one black. Easy right?

 

Nope.

After agonizing over this decision (I’m poor, I’m not buying glasses again in a looong time), I finally went with the black ones

Once you go black...

And then I went home and immediately second guessed myself.

They take a week or so to come in, and I’m anxiously waiting, because A) I want them and B) I’m not great at describing them. They're black and retangularish. But I did look at someone and realize they had pretty exactly the glasses. Who want that, you ask?

  

Boyfriend.

Someone please tell me matching glasses are cute.

I Wish They Sold DIY Lasik Kits

Like many people, I wear glasses/contacts. I’ve had them since fourth grade. 

Little Gia - I look normal enough, eh?

Unlike most others, my glasses are INCREDIBLY STRONG vision is atrocious and I cannot see a thing without them. Like, if someone has 20/20 vision, something that is 20 feet away LOOKS 20 feet away. My uncorrected vision is approximately 20/650. Something that is 20 feet away looks 650 feet away to me.

Sexy Blurry Boyfriend

 So, I don’t just need my glasses to drive, I need them to function on a daily basis.

Whoops. More eyeball poking

And, like the 99% of the population, I’m pretty poor right now. I’ve spent the past 6 or 7 years without eyecare insurance.  This isn’t incredibly unusual, I know. But it meant I go to the eye doc at Walmart. One step up from that guy with the van in the back of the parking lot who offered me discounted lasik. Lasermobile? No thanks, ax murderer. I won’t have you harvesting my eyeballs for your weird doll collection.

Also known as Rapemobile 3000.

I’m lucky in the fact that my prescription hasn’t changed since high school. But that means I’ve had the same $20 WalMart frames and lenses. The bad thing is that coating on the lenses is all chippy and whatnot. Day to day, this doesn’t bother me.  But at night, it creates giant halos.

 
Why am I bringing this up now? Because we recently had Daylight Savings

AKA the worst time of the year for me.

See, I work til 5pm. And from March-October, this isn’t a problem. I can wear glasses to work, hop in my car, do some highway merging, and get home no problem. However,  wearing contacts for 8 straight hours of looking at a computer gives me headaches, probably because I have the vision of a bat.

Is that a swarm of gnats or some woman's hair? Probably gnats. Better go swoop into it.

Once darkness hits, all bets are off. All I see are bright lights coming at me and I have no idea what lane anyone is in. It’s like driving with a granny:

[Cut me a break. I can't draw cars.]

Except I’m not senile, so it’s FUCKING TERRIFYING.

My current solution has been to suck it up and wear my contacts. Sure, it causes headaches and my eyes hurt and it makes me miserable, but at least I’ve managed to get myself home in one piece so far.

However, my current job provides eye insurance. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

So mark it in your calendars, kiddies. Tuesday, December 6^th. Gia has an eye doctor appointment! She’s going to get brand spankin’ new glasses!

[Yes, Gia may find out that the night driving issue is due to her bad vision and not her shitty glasses and even brand new glasses won’t fix it, but let’s not rain on her parade, shall we?]

FYI, I’m also going to inquire about lasik surgery. Sure, I won’t be able to afford it for a few years and sure, Boyfriend says its like being in A Clockwork Orange, but hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?