So, I was feeling a bit wonky the past few days. Long story short, I had a conversation with Boyfriend that wasn't intended to be critical towards me, but it dredged up all these icky feelings of self-loathing. It’s like, if my inner self was a dog, I’d be dangerously close to rubbing my nose in my own poo.
So anyway, Boyfriend senses what’s up, but doesn’t really get why. I may have clued him in, though, because my way of coping is to follow him around room to room asking if he still likes me.
He wants me to share, but I don’t want to. So I figured out a good compromise: share while he’s sleeping. Fair, right? Friday night in bed went something like this:
Me: You still like me, right?
Me: Ok, just checking
Boyfriend: mmm argoebregsspretzel mmmmm
Me: * whispering * Boyfriend? You awake?
Me: * whispering * Ok. So <cue ten minute diatribe of heavy sharing> You know?
Boyfriend: zzzzzzsnoooore zzzzzzzzz
When Boyfriend found out the next day, he was Not Happy. He said that didn’t count as sharing but he’s wrong. So, he spontaneously started drafting a Dear Abby letter aloud.
My girlfriend said she shared her feelings with me, but I was asleep. That doesn’t count, right?
I countered with
My boyfriend said he wanted me to share my feelings with him, but fell asleep as I was telling him my innermost thoughts and feelings! That’s totally his fault, right?
It was on.
I have the craaaaaziest girlfriend in the world.
I think I’m perfectly reasonable.
Crazy in <state>
I’m frightened of my crazy girlfriend. I’d leave her but I’m scared something bad will happen to me. What should I do?
Tell me more about this “temporary insanity” defense I’ve heard about.
I want to go to local women’s shelter, but they said I couldn’t because I’m not a woman. That doesn’t seem fair. It’s the same abuse!
What’s the best way to get rid of a body?