Cat Laptop = Cattop?

Today isn't a real post because I got super busy this weekend and I will do better on Wednesday.  But here's a little something.

So, remember when I asked you guys if my family's cat was fat? Well, I think tubby kitty does, too. 

Yep, that's her sitting on my macbook. Her eyes are saying, "Oh, you think you can blog about my size, you wretched human? I shall sit on your blasphemous device and give you the stinkeye. Feel free to pet me. But I SHALL NOT YIELD BWAH HA HA HA HA."

Well played, kitty. Well played indeed.

How to Ask for a Raise

So, as I have explained before, I’m relatively poor.  I work at a nonprofit in a sketchyish area. Money is tight there, but there’s been rumors of some possibly chance of some raises this year maybe possibly.  And I want one, you guys. I played a part in a project that recently had a good outcome, so now is the time to strike.

But I’m awkward, so this whole asking for a raise thing will surely be awkward as well. I figure I could go about it some different ways:

  

Beg. Puppy dog eyes. More begging.

This vomit-inducing episode, remember? Ick. Anyhoo, gray-mailing (it’s not quite blackmail). Probably not the best idea.

Good strategy, bad execution. May have just convinced bosses that I mess around on facebook all day. Also hysterical screaming = not good.

Will only work if bosses appreciate 90s movie references. They do not .

Risky strategy. But if it fails, consolation prize: lots of cats.

Have you guys ever asked for a raise? Did it go terribly? Share your stories!

One Day I Hope to Own a Cat

So, I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that I want a cat. My sister has two kitties, and I love them even when they’re total bitches. However, I’m sure some of you are wondering why I don’t currently have one, especially because I work in a city that is filled with feral cats and honestly with a little tuna I think I could convince one to get in my car. Yeah, they’re all pretty whorey with their kitty STDs, but that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve love. 

No one teaches cats Stranger Danger.

Also, you some of you guys offered up your own cats to me on twitter, which is awesome. But also makes me wonder why you want to get rid of these little balls of fluff. Are they secretly criminal masterminds? No, right?

Anyway, for now I just read kitty blogs and keep hoping. Here  are some reasons why I don’t have a cat yet:

My Lease Says "No Pets" 

I plan on moving out when my lease is up, so that might take care of that one.

Money

I know I know, cats are cheap. Cheaper than dogs and babies for sure. But there are still some kitty expenses:

• Monthly rent with pets can go up 30-50 bucks in this area
• Kitty food
• Kitty litter
• Adorable kitty toys
• Vet bills when kitty chooses to ignore kitty toys for household products

Anyhoo, money is tight, and a cat is a commitment. You cant just feed them ramen noodles, right? 

Allergies

Oh yeah, I may be slightly allergic to cats. I didn’t have one growing up, and a few years ago I got my sister cats for her birthday. Now after I hang out with them/force them to cuddle with me, my eyes itch a lot.  And I feel kinda crappy when I go home, but not sure if that is just kitty allergies or going home. 

So yeah. No kitty for Gia yet. 

Nope.

But once I move out, somehow manage to make more money, and decide “fuck allergies,” I’m totally gonna steal me a kitty. 


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On another note, guess who has two thumbs and got tagged in another question thingy? *points to self* THIS GIRL. Boo-yah! This one is from Handflapper, who is super awesome not only because she complimented my popcorn spoon idea. Here we go:



1. What is your most irrational, ridiculous fear and in what way, if any, does this interfere with your daily activities?
I feel like you designed this question with me in mind. How do I pick one? Zombie, demons, ninjas who want to break in my home...the list is endless. It doesn't interfere with my life because my craziness is just who I am.


2. Have you ever had head lice, and if yes, when?
NOPE! I'm proud of this one.


3. Picard or Kirk, and why? And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should. Shame on you.
I had to google this. No comment.


4. How often, ever if, do you sweep/vacuum your floors?
Hahhahah...no clue. Like once a month? I'm dirty. I don't know how Boyfriend puts up with it.


5. What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?
Hook. It gave me crazy bad nightmares as a kid. (Oh, you mean as an adult? Dunno. The Ring?)


6. What is the worst movie you have ever seen? (I love both scary and poorly made movies with all my heart.)
Hmmm...I dunno if its WORST, but Midnight in Paris is certainly up there.


7. Have you ever peed in the shower? HONEST ANSWERS ONLY.
I'm not going to answer that but I'll tell you this story: apparently, one time when I was a little kid and my sister and I were taking a bath together, I pooed in the tub. I was not only enough to remember, but she was. I enjoy knowing this happened.


8. What is it about coffee that you people like so much?
It's the sweet sweet nectar of the gods and I am totally addicted to it. Mmmm...coffee.


9. Would you rather have a cupcake or a real, honest-to-goodness as-god-intended-it piece of cake? Think carefully before answering. I’ll totally judge you if you say cupcake.
I've never felt so self conscious about liking cupcakes before.


10. How many Jeremy London movies have you seen, and for god’s sake, why?
Who?


11. Can you recommend any hardy menstruating prostitutes for a Bigfoot expedition?

No. Boyfriend would probably volunteer me for the role. Luckily, he is not answering this. 

Whew! Those were tough! Have a great weekend everyone, I'll see you on Twitter!