Kitty Couch

Me: Hi Miss Priscilla!

Miss Priscilla: Sniff

Me: What’s going on?

Miss Priscilla: Other cats have been on this couch. I can smell them. Hmph.

Me: Oh come on, I spent hours trying to get all the cat hair off it. It’s ours  now!

Miss Priscilla: No more other stinky cats on it?

Me: No sadly, you’re my only cat right now.

Miss Priscilla: What do you mean, sadly?

Me: Nothing.

Miss Priscilla: Well fine, I will own this couch then.

Me: Wait a second –

Miss Priscilla: No no, you’ve sold me on it Gia. The couch is mine now.

Me: Well it’s OURS you see…

Miss Priscilla: I AM THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO SIT ON IT AND THAT’S MY FINAL WORD.

Me: This really isn’t fair.

Miss Priscilla: Get off my couch, Gia. Your futon is right there.

Me: Ever heard of sharing?

Miss Priscilla: Ever heard of GETTING OFF MY COUCH?

Me: UGH. Fine.

Miss Priscilla: I’ll let you know if I require anything else.

Me: I kind of hate you right now.

Miss Priscilla: I don’t care.

Just like owning a real  live cat!

Cat Couch

A few weeks ago, my friend said she was moving, and asked me if I wanted her couch.

I like free stuff.

As you guys might remember, I’m currently using a futon(of death). A real live free couch sounded awesome. I knew it was a little used, but beggars can’t be choosers, right?

So I went to her house to get it. Oh, did I mention that she has three cats?

Anyway, I took a look at the couch.

  

A couple of friends brought it to my apartment and I realized that it was covered in cat hair. I’m not complaining; my friend had a lot to do before she moved so vacuuming her couch was not high on the priority list. I could see the fur coming off in chunks, though.

The Pig Pen of couches.

I sat down and vacuumed the cushions. And then vacuumed again. And then used a lint roller. And vacuumed again. There was a lot of fur:

I need a new lint roller. No, this wasn't all of them. Yes, this was after vacuuming. 

Anyway, I got the couch cleaned up, and now I have another place to sit!

Sitting is my favorite.

And for a brief moment, I got to experience the life of a cat owner:

 That's what it's like, right??

Futons are Heavy

I spend a lot of time on my futon.

Yeah, this. 

So I finally decided it was time to wash my futon cover. All my own.

Anyway, do you know how hard it is to wrest a futon mattress?!?

I did finally manage to get the futon cover off and washed.

But then I realized I had only done the easy part. I still had to put the cover back on the futon.

(Does anyone else know that adorable gif of the kitty that goes “fuck this fuck that, fuck this thing in particular”? Boyfriend and I love it).

Since I was becoming an expert at futons, I now knew what to do.

And then:

Well, that should be good for 6 to 8  months.

My (Not So) Secret Addiction

To what, you ask?

Sigh. I kind of don’t want to tell you guys. But I will. Because honesty is my policy.

PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME.  

But seriously guys. Friday nights with Boyfriend have pretty much turned into this:

Is there a support group for people like me? I need help.

Thwarted!

Last Monday, I took the day off work to get errands done. Result? Most frustrating day ever.

Firstly, I needed to go to the dmv and get a new license. I googled their address.

Secondly, I needed to go to the registration place to get new plates for my car.

Then I decided to go to the mall to do a little shopping and look at comfy futons.

FINE. I went to Target and they no longer had a sample futon out that I had seen a few weeks ago. So I decided to go to a mattress store to check out futons there.

Then I gave up and went home. Because seriously, what the fuck? My day would have more productive if I literally stayed in bed all day.

Lesson learned. Don’t try to be productive, ever.