My Chunky Monkey Kitty

I recently brought my cat to the vet. Kitty is 6-7 months old now, so it’s time for her to get a rabies shot. I also wanted to get her a standard wellness check.

The 5 minute car ride there was…fun.

  

When we got there, I wasn’t shocked by the nurses’ reactions.

They put her on the kitty scale, where she clocked in at 9 pounds.

Later, Boyfriend and I ended up in a pet store and I got kitty some Natural Health Food. We opened it up and gave her just a little when we got home.

Do you guys have fat cats? If not, HOW DID YOU STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING?!?!?

Cat Eating Halloween Monster

This year, I dressed up as something I had joked about last year:

Ok, the costume wasn’t nearly as cool looking in real life, but it WAS a dinosaur onesie.

I put it on to show Boyfriend and Kitty, and excitedly bounced into the living room.

we call this "foreshadowing"

I was NOT expecting what happened next.

Yes, kitty thought I was a real dinosaur (or that I was being attacked and eaten by a real dinosaur), fell off her cat perch, and broke my blinds on the way down. Then she went into full on scary kitty mode.

she sensed danger.

It was freaking hilarious.

Are we bad people? Maybe.

I quickly took off the costume to show her I was alive and well.

Eventually she kind of came around.

And that’s how I accidentally terrorized my cat on Halloween.

My (Not So) Secret Addiction

To what, you ask?

Sigh. I kind of don’t want to tell you guys. But I will. Because honesty is my policy.

PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME.  

But seriously guys. Friday nights with Boyfriend have pretty much turned into this:

Is there a support group for people like me? I need help.

How I Eat Popcorn and Why It’s Way Better Than the Way You Do It

So, as you may have seen on twitter, I’ve come up with a genius way of eating popcorn. Sure it’s a bit odd so I can only eat it this way when I’m totally alone, but still. First, here are all the inferior ways of eating it:

With Your Fingers

Ick.  So you get greasy  popcorn juice (also known as butter) all over yourself? And then you can’t use your laptop or trackpad while eating it. Pass.

With a Cup

Boyfriend’s choice. So you can spill popcorn all over yourself? PASS.

Lizard Style

Okay, I don’t hate this one, especially when the bowl is full. But when its almost empty and you gotta stick your whole head in it to get to the popcorn, you get popcorn juice all over your face! Not good.

Those are all terrible, right? Well, here’s my idea!

With a Spoon

See guys? Mess free! No butter on your hands/mouth/face/laptop/couch/bedsheets. And no popcorn all over the place! C'mon, I’m a genius, right?!

 But seriously, is there a way to get a patent on popcorn eating spoons? You know, indistinguishable from regular spoons, but you use them to eat popcorn. Can I trademark this?

And more importantly, can other people pleas please please start eating popcorn this way, so I don’t feel so damn weird for doing it? Thanks. 


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Okay, so while you're judging me for that (seriously, stop judging me. it's genius.), I need to answer some questions because I was tagged in that Pass It On thing by TWO awesome bloggers. I don't entirely understand it but I get that I'm supposed to answer their questions, I think. Or something. Anyway, first we have Jacqui at chicktuition, who asked for "5 Random Insights into Your Soul:"


1. My soul likes old guys. Gross? Maybe. It is what it is. 
2. Even though a cat may steal a part of my soul, I want one. Badly.
3. My soul thinks I can sing. But the rest of me knows I can't. So, I only sing alone in the car.
4. My soul makes me eat babies to feed itself. 
5. My soul likes kidding about me eating babies (bad soul! bad!).


I'm bad at these.


NEXT! 
Kristen at The Preppy Girl in Pink. Here are her questions:


1.  What’s the first thing you do when your alarm goes off in the morning?
Turn it off! I HATE loud noises. If I have any messages on my phone I'll check them.


2.  What does your favorite date night consist of?
Anything with Boyfriend. Actually, anything other than watching Midnight in Paris. Usually we have a pretty good time staying in and watching a movie. Maybe going to dinner first. We're low key, but it works for us.


3.  What is your favorite comedy movie?
Eeek! I don't know. That's hard. Boyfriend and I both loved Bridesmaids, so that's a current fave. I don't have an all time fave. I don't like committing to things like that.


4.  What was your first car and how did you come about ownership?
Uhhh a dodge neon. Bought it at a gas station. Bad decision. 


5.  What is your go to snack while chilling in front of the TV?
Wine.


6.  Name a famous person in present day that you would like to go shopping with and describe why.
Umm...that's tough. My first thought was "NO ONE I HATE SHOPPING." But actually, maybe Oprah. Cuz she'd probably pick up the tab, right?


....I'm sorry I made you guys suffer though my craptastic answers. Aren't you happy you're that much closer to me now? 


Okay, go dig up some spoons and eat some popcorn, please.