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Showing posts with label bridal showers are stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bridal showers are stupid. Show all posts

Monday, May 9, 2016

The Woman's Curse

You probably think this is about the monthly curse of blood and pain that women experience for oh, 35 years or so. Nope. I'm talking about this woman's curse: 









Yes. Baby and bridal showers. Thousands of dollars of gifts you're expected to shell out for a couple and/or a couple's baby, solely because you have a vagina. Hundreds of hours of watching someone open said gifts and pretending to give a shit. Dozens of stupid games you're expected to play. 




The real woman's curse. 

Monday, June 15, 2015

Grumble Shower Grumble

Oh hey guys. 






Stupid pregnant people. Is anyone else suffering from wedding/baby season?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Shower Games: Part I

Hey, you know what sucks and isn’t fun at all? Showers. Not the personal hygiene showers, those are awesome. (And don’t worry Boyfriend, I partake in them on a fairly regularly basis.) I’m talking about the You’re-Getting-Married-or-are-Preggo-So-Here’s-Some-Present Showers. Ugh.

I’ve sat through a few of these bad boys, and I know that since I’m in my mid-twenties, even more are coming up. So I’ve designed some FUN games to make them more interesting. (God, I hope someone lets me plan one of these someday…) Today, we’re going over Bridal Showers.

Game 1: Pin the Veil on the Bride
Supplies: One reluctant bride, a crap ton of veils, duct tape.
Directions: Blindfold guest. Spin her in circles. Hand her a duct tape veil. Shove her in the general direction of the bride. Watch the magic.
Yeah, that's me in the pink dress. Obvi.
If I’m playing, she should probably wear goggles.

Game 2: Guess the Bride’s Weight
Supplies: One super reluctant bride, one scale, lots of bloodthirsty women.
Directions: Everybody yells out what they think the bride’s weight is. Bride is forced gets on scale. Winner gets a cupcake. Everyone else gets to speculate whether or not she will fit in wedding dress.
Everyone knows women's shoes weigh 5-10 lbs. Each.

Game 3: Marriage Length Pool
Supplies: Paper, Pencils, Honesty.
Directions: Guess how long the marriage will last.

Game 4: Sex advice from Mother of the Groom
Supplies: Mother of the Groom (the older and more Christian, the better), sex advice, garbage cans.
Directions: Invite mother of groom. Invite her to share sex advice. Make sure garbage can is near bride.


So, what do you guys think? Am I onto something? Stay tuned tomorrow for baby shower games – I have even better ideas for those!!

[Update: Part II is here]