Me: Hi Miss Priscilla!
Miss Priscilla: Sniff
Me: What’s going on?
Miss Priscilla: Other cats have been on this couch. I can smell them. Hmph.
Me: Oh come on, I spent hours trying to get all the cat hair off
it. It’s ours now!
Miss Priscilla: No more other stinky cats on it?
Me: No sadly, you’re my only cat right now.
Miss Priscilla: What do you mean, sadly?
Me: Nothing.
Miss Priscilla: Well fine, I will own this couch then.
Me: Wait a second –
Miss Priscilla: No no, you’ve sold me on it Gia. The couch is mine now.
Me: Well it’s OURS you see…
Miss Priscilla: I AM THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO SIT ON IT AND THAT’S MY FINAL
WORD.
Me: This really isn’t fair.
Miss Priscilla: Get off my couch, Gia. Your futon is right there.
Me: Ever heard of sharing?
Miss Priscilla: Ever heard of GETTING OFF MY COUCH?
Me: UGH. Fine.
Miss Priscilla: I’ll let you know if I require anything else.
Me: I kind of hate you right now.
Miss Priscilla: I don’t care.
Just like owning a real
live cat!
There's only one solution when a cat lays claim to a couch, you gotta pee on that couch. It's the ONLY solution any cat will respect. Don't worry, a little powder will soak it up eventually. Oh, "that's gross"? I guess you didn't really want that couch so badly after all.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm not mistaken, I actually own that couch. No really, it is the exact same couch that is in my living room. Did you steal my couch, Gia? Give it back, damnit!
ReplyDeleteThis is hysterical. Love your imagination!
ReplyDeleteWhen my good friend from India moved away, she gave me a beautiful couch/love seat set. After six months of spraying, vacuuming etc, whenever I plop down on it I still get a whiff of curry!!! It's like she's still here...
ReplyDeleteI think you'd better stay off her couch. She might cover your mouth with her entire body while you're sleeping and you'd suffocate and no one would know why – except the murderer.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
It's only like owning a real cat if Miss Priscilla peed all over that couch.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for any future cat I get. Because it's MY couch and YOU are getting off it.
ReplyDeleteThe dog is more than welcome to join me though.
People always tell us that we should teach our cat to stop clawing up the furniture. I'm like, "Dude, we paid $15 for this at a yard sale from a friend. SOOOO NOT WORRIED ABOUT IT." Our cat is in charge and that's the way it should be. Glad you're practicing for the "real" thing. NOT THAT YOUR CURRENT CAT ISN'T REAL. Oh god, what have I done?
ReplyDeleteHA! You know that is pretty much a cat's personality!
ReplyDelete