Monday, December 3, 2012

The Advent Calendar

So, I love my mom:

But she’s a bit nutty. She’s real big on holidays, which is awesome. But she has a bit of trouble letting go of some traditions, even though I’ve clearly outgrown them.

She's good at guilt.
Yeah. So I shouldn’t have been surprised when she presented me with this:

 For those of you who don’t know, an advent calendar counts down til Christmas, with a chocolate in the shape of something Christmassy for each day. So yeah. Boyfriend thinks it’s funny. Or sad. Not sure.

 So yeah, I have an advent calendar. I figured I might as well keep it at this point.

I'm funny, damnit.
Anyway, so cut to Sunday, where this texting happened between me and Boyfriend:

Boyfriend: How’s the advent calendar going?
Me: It’s day two of this delicious advent chocolate
Boyfriend: Is there a Jesus thing in there too?
Me: No silly. It’s dark chocolate and jesus was white.
Boyfriend: My bad.

I opened up day two of the chocolates, and it was a horseshoe. Um, what?

Me: Today’s chocolate is a horseshoe! What does that have to do with Christmas?
Boyfriend: Everything if you think about it.
Me: …?
Boyfriend: Horseshoes are all about being lucky and believing in magic
Me: Santa magic?
Boyfriend: Like that.


  1. I'm pretty sure if a Jewish person eats advent chocolate they get superpowers for an hour at least. Also, Jesus was white!?!

    1. Yessiree. It's in the bible, good sir.

  2. I become a Christian every.single. December first. I had NO idea it was the Advent chocolate.

    You are wise, Gia. So very wise.

  3. I love it, mostly because my mom is the same way. I still get presents from Santa, as do the pets, and get a Valentine, Easter basket, etc. We're not really religious so there's no advent calendar, but I say just go with it. It's chocolate, after all ;)

  4. I was born into Christianity and raised that way my whole life... where's my damn advent calendar? I've never gotten one of those. White Jesus is so crappy to half-brown children. :(

  5. NEVER turn down chocolate! No matter what wildly inappropriate form it may present itself!

  6. Hahahaha! I love that you included "potted up on weed" in this one. Freakin' hilarious!

  7. I was just this weekend trying to find a damn advent calendar with chocolate in it. They all were just plain paper advent calendars with nothing inside except a stupid cartoon. My son's not gonna buy that shit.

    P.S. I'm Buddhist but I believe in chocolate. And Santa.

  8. Shoot, I forgot to grab my girlfriend an advent calender.

    Maybe the chocolate pudding I bought will work just as well?

  9. Love the Santa suit Gia! And how coincidental! I'm Christian(sorta) and Hubs is Jewish(kinda)! But we just celebrate both Christmas and Hanukah. Hellooo...eight nights of presents!? :D

  10. sometimes I am dismayed by the chocolate in some advent calendars so I am all snobby and fill my own for the kids. On another religious note though, we get to eat latkes with my step-father once a year...trumps chocolate that day!

  11. It's like holiday torture. You just want to open them all at once. Who can eat just one a day?

  12. I've never had an Advent calendar with chocolates. My Advent would go by very quickly because I could never stop at one chocolate per day. If you eat all the chocolates at once, then Advent is over, right?


    P.S. I think Mom needs a grandchild, as do I.

  13. why does the chocolate always taste so weird? ya know?

  14. Yeah, those chocolates in Advent calendars aren't so great usually. Waxy. We need a fine chocolatier to sell one! But then I would definitely eat them all at once. Maybe waxy chocolate is the wisest choice for a once a day thing after all.

  15. You are SO lucky. I want someone to give me an advent calender... I think it wouldn't be the same if I bought my own. :(

  16. One Easter in college, my parents brought me and my roomies an easter egg basket of tiny alcohol bottles. Not sure if that makes them awesome or bad parents, but we were all pretty happy.

  17. It's chocolate. "Just smile and nod boys, just smile and nod"

  18. Haha! Advent calendars are the best part of Christmas... my mum and boyfriend both got me one-double chocolatey goodness x

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