Monday, December 17, 2012

Santa Claus and the Naughty Elf

Do you guys wanna hear the story of Santa Claus and the naughty lady elf? Yes, yes you do.

This is Lady Elf.

She worked at the North Pole, making toys for Santa.

This is Santa:

When she first came to the north pole, he wasn’t round or jolly.

One day, lady elf visited Santa in his cave den.

Santa seemed especially grumpy that day.

Lady Elf had a secret. She had a crush on Santa. Well, she thought it was a secret. Til she got this letter:

Whatever, that’s not the point. Anyway, Lady Elf kept visiting Santa in his den. Even though he wasn’t exactly welcoming at first.

She didn’t give up.

She slowly wore him down. Until finally he realized…

And then they lived happily ever after. Kind of.

They lived happily ever after, starting December 26th


  1. HA! I didn't think of that. No wonder Mrs. Claus ran off with the reindeer handler. You can't ditch your loved one on Christmas. Maybe that's why I assumed Santa used the elves like his own "toy" shop.

    1. no no no no so wrong, images in my head nooooooo

  2. Yeah, well, tell Santa to quit whining. He's lucky to have an elf like you.

  3. Now with the prospect of Santa getting some "gifts" of his own after the 26th, can we assume that everyone will be on the nice list for next year.

  4. This is a great story, and also sounds like it could be the beginning of a porno. Lady elf walks in on Santa and drugs him up with whiskey. His mouth says "go away", but his eyes say TAKE ME NOW.

  5. I love that she had to warm him up with some whiskey first and he was still a brut and her romantic heart still throbbed. I think it was her heart. Great story!

  6. The heart knows what the heart wants.

  7. Whiskey and cookies works in this house too!

  8. Laughed all the way through! Even, though, deep down I knew where it was headed...

  9. But maybe lady elf could go on a romantic world tour with Santa on Christmas, so she wouldn't be alone! Either way, glad that Santa finally saw her specialness :)

  10. The reindeer handler is probably an elf. Santa is justified in having an affair with an elf as well.

  11. This couldn't possibly parallel your own story with Boyfriend could it? He doesn't seem like he was ever the grumpy sort :P

    p.s. Loved your pointy elf ears.

  12. Ok, one. I HATE, HATE HATE that your blog is blocked at my office now. It makes me fall behind on reading.

    Two, this is cute and Santa needs to pull the candy cane out of his behind!