Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Lioness is on a Mission



Me: Hi lioness!
Lioness: Hey Gia!
Me: What’s with the hat?
Lioness: Did you know it’s only 48 days til election day??
Me: Nope, wow! That’s coming up quick.
Lioness: Are you registered to vote, Gia?
Me: Of course I am!
Lioness: Good, because it’s your duty as an American, you know.  I’m here to tell everyone to register to vote! Here’s a good website to learn more.
Me: A very important message!
Lioness: Yep! It’s easy to forget to register. I myself forgot, actually. Heheh silly, I know. But I’m going to do it tomorrow!
Me: Wait…* you * register?
Lioness: Yeah. Why do you say it like that?
Me: Um….because….you’re a lioness.
Lioness: So?
Me: Oh man. This is awkward.
Lioness: WHAT is awkward, Gia?!?
Me: Um….lionesses can’t vote.


Lioness: What the FUCK did you just say?
Me: Oh noooo….you were happy. I liked it when you were happy, for a change.
Lioness: I CAN’T VOTE?!
Me: No. Animals can’t vote.
Lioness: HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO YOU KNOW.
Me: Well..kind of.
Lioness: YOU SURE AS FUCK AREN’T PLANTS.
Me: Humans are different.
Lioness: I hate you.
Me: Lioness, don’t be upset.
Lioness: UPSET? UPSET THAT I CAN’T EXERCISE MY BASIC AMERICAN RIGHT TO VOTE?? WHY WOULD THAT UPSET ME.
Me: Come on…
Lioness: I WAS BORN HERE, YOU KNOW. LIVED HERE MY WHOLE LIFE, SINCE I WAS A WEE BABY LIONESS.
Me: It’s not fair, I know…
Lioness: WHY DO YOU GET TO VOTE AND NOT ME?! WHAT MAKES US SO DIFFERENT?!
Me: I have opposable thumbs?
Lioness: FUCK YOU.
Me: Look, I’m sure if there was some kind of lion-election, you’d be allowed to vote.
Lioness: Don’t patronize me. I want to vote.
Me: I know, I know.
Lioness: I EVEN HAVE PROPER ID! VOTER FRAUD LAWS WEREN’T GOING TO KEEP ME DOWN!
Me: Well, that’s good…
Lioness: IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE NOW, GIA.
Me: Look, you clearly need some time to process this. And maybe consider some anger management classes.
Lioness: Shut up. Look, I hope all of your American readers are registered. It’s really easy to take that right for granted and expect it will always be there and BAM it gets taken away.
Me: Well, technically you never had the right…
Lioness: NOT THE POINT, GIA.
Me: Right-o. Go have a drink.

15 comments:

  1. Well, felons can't vote either, does that make them animals? Snoop Lion can still vote, so at least there's one lion who will vote.

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  2. Yay! People need to get registered and need to vote. Thanks for reminding us with lions and patriotic hats.

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  3. i've never voted. in the last 2 GEs, i was covering the election at a different state, away from where i had registered. our election is up in a coupla months too. this time, i could vote!

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  4. Very true!! I'm registered and ready to go. Best part of this post? "YOU SURE AS FUCK AREN’T PLANTS."

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  5. Don't anger lioness. Lesson learned :-)

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  6. I'm registered to vote in a town far, far away. I'd reregister, but Halo 4 comes out on election day. Now what's more important? Saving the human race from a covenant of evil aliens or voting for some guy to lead just one country? Anyway, yeah I'm going to reregister soon enough. I mostly like answering the questions regarding local laws that appear on the ballots. Last year I got to vote whether to ban dog racing and legalize marijuana! Dog racing was banned, but no word on the Mary-Jane situation.

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  7. Oh man, even for a queen of the jungle that particular lioness is quick to anger.

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  8. She reminds me of someone.... my sister? Great pictures! She's my second favorite animal on your blog! Pigletta will always win, though!

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  9. I wish people got this worked up over Canadian politics. ._.

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  10. LOL ... funny and a good message :)

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  11. I really need to register so I can vote for Mitt Romney and then he can not give a shit about me and the rest of us 47%. Make it count!

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  12. "Lioness: YOU SURE AS FUCK AREN’T PLANTS."

    bahahhaaha. you are so awesome, Gia.

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  13. Can we take away the opposable thumbs of those people who vote without thinking?

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