As you may recall, Boyfriend’s fake birthday was celebrated over the summer. But his REAL birthday is today! WOOOHOOOO! I got him an awesome gift (that maybe technically hasn't arrived yet) and made him an awesome pie that may or may not have been delicious. (Cut me a break. I'm writing this over the weekend).
Anyhoo, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOYFRIEND!
Sometimes Boyfriend and I play the game “what would you do if you won the lottery?” So for his birthday, I decided to create a new game:
10 Things I Would Get Boyfriend for His Birthday if I Had a Bajillion Dollars
1. Let’s start with a boat, for when he goes fishing:
|It would be a more impressive boat, in real life.|
2. And a private lake, stocked with all his favorite fish.
3. A deserted island, where he could relax alone.
Well, almost alone:
4. A golf course in his backyard.
5. ALL the whiskey!
Boyfriend likes whiskey.
6. Robot Girlfriend, so she can stand in for me when I’m busy or sleeping or blogging
|That's supposed to say, even FOR a moment. Fuck.|
7. Zombie Vaccines so that zombie sluts can’t get to him
Ok. This one is more for me, maybe.
|Ha! That's right! BE GONE, WENCH.|
8. A blinged out Boyfriend necklace
Just cuz. I want my bitches to sparkle, yo.
9 A perfectly hand crafted pipe that looks nothing like a penis.
You know, for his tobacco.
10 And finally, the best girlfriend in the world!
Wait a second. HE ALREADY HAS THAT! She even won a GOLD MEDAL in Girlfriending!
Yaaay! So what I guess I’m saying is, Happy Birthday Boyfriend! I would totally buy you all these things if I could. And also, I’m priceless.