As I mentioned on Friday, my mom and I went to the beach this weekend. Here’s some random observations, brought to you through texts between me and Boyfriend.
Observation 1: I am not above stealing from a child.
Me: A girl has a pink inflatable dolphin. I want to steal it.
Boyfriend: I’m sure you can overpower her.
Me: Survival of the fittest. Sucks to be a five year old.
Don’t worry, I didn’t steal it. I was gonna punch her in the face and run away with it, but her stupid parents were totally hovering. I mean, who doesn’t let their five year old run around unattended next to a giant body of water?
Observation 2: My nose is entirely too big for my face.
It was a long day in the sun, okay? Some sunburn could not be entirely unexpected.
Me: My FACE!!!
Boyfriend: Killing me?
Me: No. You love it. Especially when its tomatoey.
“The blotchier the better.”
Seriously, I don’t know what happened. I wore sunscreen and I didn’t get burned anywhere but my face. Mainly, my nose.
I can’t help it my nose sticks out like dumbo
Well he’s an elephant so he had a big nose so that kind of works.
Boyfriend: I’m not talking to you tomato head.
Me: Who is a jackass?
|I wore sunscreen I swear!|
Observation 3: My vision still isn’t great.
Boyfriend: So many bats out tonight.
Me: Like me and my mom.
|Yeah, I can't see for shit.|
Observation 4: Honeybadgers don’t care.
Me: Now we’re gonna bring wine to the pool even though the rules say not to cuz we’re bad asses
Boyfriend: Wear your leather jackets and sunglasses.
|Yeah, it was pretty much like this.|
Observation 5: It’s a palm tree.
Me: Look. It’s a radioactive palm tree. Damn nuclear meltdown.
Boyfriend: Good thing you have those sunglasses.
And that was my weekend.
Bonus Observation: Damn, I look good in leather.