Sexual Harassment and Boyfriend

Subtitle: "You Guys Will Like This Story Even Though it Makes Me Mad."

So, most of you know that Boyfriend is also my coworker and no one knows we’re dating.  And if you didn’t before, now you’re caught up.  I also want to note that there is absolutely nothing in our handbook against inter-office dating, we would just prefer for people not to know. Some people are suspicious anyway, if you recall.

A few weeks later, he actually straight up asked if we were dating. I said no and I thought it was pretty obvious I was lying. Apparently not, because he hasn't insinuated anything since. Bwah ha ha ha what a fool. 

So, his office and my cubicle are on opposite sides of a small building. I will meander over there to talk to him or someone who sits near him, and usually I’ll stop in his office. (To be fair, even before Boyfriend moved into that office, I’d find a reason to hang out on that side of the building because it’s way cooler and it gives me a reason to get up and walk around a bit.)

Now that you have all of that mostly unnecessary background, let’s talk about this gchat convo Boyfriend and I had on Friday:

‪Boyfriend: Lawyer called me into his office to ask quite seriously, "Is Gia sexually harassing you?"

Why yes, she is.... what can I do about it??

‪Me: whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

‪Boyfriend: You've been spending too much time over here and giggling too much is how I heard it from him

Me: seriously, LAWYER? of all people?!

 the one who stared at other coworker’s boobs at the gala and went "whoa"?

that lawyer?

Okay, let me explain who “Lawyer” is: An older, retired “general counsel” who works at my organization part time. He spends most of his time worrying about things that aren’t going to happen (“What if someone doesn’t like what we say on facebook and sues us?!?”) and making a general nuisance of himself. He is NOT a part of human resources. In fact, it would be ironic if he were, because he’s generally known as the office creep.

In addition to the boob staring incident referenced above, he did this at a holiday party:

Oh, this happened just a few weeks ago:

And an STD, by it's very definition, cannot be spread by coughing.

The man has a picture of girl with her tongue stuck on a pole on his office door. It says, “Don’t get stuck with the wrong one.” The back is an ad for some insurance company, but it’s not visible from the front of the picture. Don’t tell me that’s not innuendo.

Yeah. That's Lawyer.

Boyfriend: I know. It was fuuuuuunny

well, her boobs are Whoa worthy

‪Me: yeah but you keep that shit inside

Boyfriend : it's hard

‪Me: I bet.

‪Boyfriend: very hard

as a rock

‪Me: hushhhh

What did you say to Lawyer?

Boyfriend: I said, "not that I know of". But I'm willing to amend that.

maybe I was just too embarrassed to admit it!

‪Me: Don't start.  x-(

‪Boyfriend: B-) B-)

So, I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed that I can’t GIGGLE IN MY BOYFRIEND’S OFFICE without “sexual harassment” being thrown around by a third party who has no real evidence or complaining employee.

When Boyfriend came over after work, I immediately did this.

Ahh…it always makes me feel better.