So last week, three coworkers and I decided to go out for a work lunch. It was cursed. Here are the things that were NOT GOOD about it.
NOT GOOD: When you think you’re going to a work lunch, and it’s actually a drinkfest.
So, I thought we were going out to eat and were going to have a drink too, no big deal. Two of them proceeded to only order drinks ($2 PBRs). The other coworker was a bit surprised too, so he got an appetizer and a drink. As did I.
|No, I did NOT get a pbr.|
The thing is, I really don’t want to drink at work. I’m not even saying, “Oh, I like it but I know I shouldn’t…” I just don’t want to – I like to be clear headed when I’m at work. I can have a drink to fit in with a group, but it’s really not necessary. I drink enough at night that I really have no desire to start drinking during the day, too. I have my limits.
Anyhoo, okay. Whatever. It’s a drinkfest.
NOT GOOD: When two of your coworkers leave the table temporarily, and the third one calls you out for gchatting Boyfriend all day.
For those of you who don't know, Boyfriend and I work for the same organization but we don’t tell anyone at work that we’re together. It’s actually not against the rules at all. It’s more of this:
|I would like to have about 5 billion business cards of this.|
Anyhoo, this conversation happened as soon as one coworker got up to use the bathroom and the other one went to her car to get some cigarettes:
Coworker: You talk with Boyfriend ALL the time
Coworker: I see him gchatting you ALL day.
Coworker: Before we moved offices and I met you, I thought “Gia” was the name of his girlfriend.
Me: Haha…not true.
NOT GOOD: When you run into another coworker there.
Yep. That happened. He saw us sitting at a table drinking.
[Side note: I feel like I should add that besides getting called out, the lunch conversation was actually really fun. I work with some crazy weed-smoking peeps.]
Anyhoo. Let’s continue:
NOT GOOD: When you run into a motherfucking board member at lunch.
Yeah, that happened. Apparently we went lunch drinking at the most popular restaurant ever.
EVEN WORSE: When the board member comes over to say hi, one coworker is smoking and all of you have empty glasses in front of you.
Last NOT GOOD thing: When you get back from your two hour lunch (even though you’re only supposed to take an hour), you have missed calls/emails from your CEO from AN HOUR AND A HALF earlier.
People take long lunches all the time, so it wasn’t a huge deal to be gone that long once in awhile. But seriously. It was like the cherry on top of a YOU’RE FUCKED sundae.
Here’s a nice bowl of it.