Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I Can’t Teach My Mom How to Drink Wine but I Can Teach Her How to Text


….kind of. So, as you may recall, my mother thinks all wine should be refrigerated and have ice in it and yes, it’s pretty embarrassing to deal with sometimes. Bad.

It's a crime, mom. Especially for us italians. 
She’s also been kind of old fashioned with cell phones, convinced that she doesn’t need texting. A common conversation was like this:

Me: You should just get on the texting plan Sister and I have.
Mom: I don’t NEED to do that.
Me: I know, but it’s good to be able to.
Mom: Why? I can just call someone.
Me: No it’s not the same. Texting is better in certain circumstances. Like if you want to know if Sister is coming home from dinner and don’t want to call her up and bother her at work? You can just text her.
Mom: …she usually calls me on the way home.
Me: NOT THE POINT. It makes your life easier in some ways.
Mom: I don’t need to text someone to ask them a question. I can just call them and ask.
Me: ARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mom: It’s unnecessary.
Me: I’d probably talk to you more if we texted.
Mom: Hmm... I’ll look into it.

A few months later, and bam! My mom gets a texting plan!
She's better than my dad. He doesn't even have a cell phone.

Anyhoo, so I’ve been texting with my mom for the past week or so. Conversations include

Me: You learn how to text yet?
Mom: my first text
Me: Wow! Good job.
Mom: yeah
Me: How’s work
Mom: busy but okay love u bye [I need to tell her that you don’t usually have to “hang up” on texting convos]

Me: Have you learned how to text anyone else yet?
Mom: No but I will
Me: It’s not that hard right
Mom: I am very slow

Mom: HI I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO SEND THE TEXT FIRST!

Mom: I’m at *event *
Me: Oh cool
Mom: Now I get why texting is good its so loud in here [YAY! I WINNNN!]

Me: Wanna come down for a big rummage sale? I might find stuff for my new apt.
Mom: okay. Is the sAle on saT orsunday? [She has nails. This may be a slight problem.]
Me: uh..Saturday

After she called me and I didn’t answer
Me: I’m out whats up
Mom: TALK TO U TOMORROW HAVE A GOOD NIGHT LOVE YOU [Dunno if she doesn’t realize she’s yelling, or she accidentally turned her caps lock on and doesn’t know how to fix it.]

What about you guys? Do your families text? Do you wish they didn’t? Am I going to regret this?


44 comments:

  1. They do, andit's not too bad. But the parents are just way too formal

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  2. My mom texts, but then it's a longer conversation then on the phone. My dad just picks up the phone and calls me. He has yet to return a single text. The jury is out on this, but it's better than daily calls to see if anything new has happened.

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  3. My mom doesn't even have a cell, she is technologically impaired. My entire family went against our better judgement and got her an IPAD last Christmas. She can slide her finger across the screen to unlock it, but that's about it!

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  4. I confidently expect a few more entries into the damnyouautocorrect website to come out of this.

    I love texting on iPhone, and had hated it before. Technically, my wife has a cell phone. It's the oldest functioning cell phone in the world, I'm sure of it. I bought it for her in 2003, and I doubt she has used 100 minutes.

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  5. Ew, no, that would mean I'd have to talk to her.
    I guess if you like your mom, you did something nice by teaching her a new skill. Well done.

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  6. My parents text to my email. Which is better, really, since they are wordy - wordier than I am. Also, my dad's fingers can't manage the little buttons, so it's often a fun brain-challenge to figure out what he was actually trying to text. Good times all around.

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  7. I actually have a draft of a post called "Sh$# my Mom Texts," but she's been kind of lame lately, so I haven't been able to finish it. I like it, as it means I don't actually have to talk to her every time she thinks of something to tell me. However, I've yet to break her of the "K" response. That one makes me stabby.

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    1. My hubs is lazy and will respond "Y" or "TY" to texts. Yeah, stabby is the word for that feeling.

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  8. My favorite text messages come from my mom texting me through my dad's phone, without actually making it clear who the real sender is. I was slightly concerned that my dad had been in a major personality changing accident when I got a text message from "him" concerning what color shirt "he" should wear to an event.

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  9. Its great I don't ever have to talk to some family members anymore...everything is txt :)

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    1. have not got my mom on board yet. dad will send a text. but everything is written.like.this.and.I.don't.know.why???

      DH? why is it the man who can sit in the house with me for 3 hours and not say a word, never shuts up in text speak?

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  10. My mom just figured out how to EMAIL. Texting is a foreign concept. And no, I am not trying to teach her. I would get non-stop messages and I don't wanna deal with that, thank you. My parents live in the dark ages, and I like them there. That is all.

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  11. I get the occasional text from my mother. It usually looks something likt this: "This is mom. Grab a package of chic cutlets."

    It says the text is from "MOM CELL," yet she still finds it necessary to let me know it's her texting me.

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  12. My mom and I text a few times a week and it's fine. My dad is just annoying with it. He'll call first and when I don't answer (because he's a chatty cathy) then he'll leave a voicemail. I'll respond by text and his answer will be "I left you a voicemail". SMH

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  13. My mom doesn't have a cell phone. My dad does, but he doesn't understand how computers/email/internet works. Safe to say no texting from them!

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  14. Just wait until she figures out how to send pictures through texts...I get all kinds of random crap from my Mom. But it's funny!!

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  15. My mom does white zin with ice cubes and it makes me cringe.

    My 16 year old niece taught her to text so I get a lot of "Hey, whats up????" or "I'll c u later!!!!!!!!" What's with all the exclamation points mom?

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  16. Ice in red wine isn't the horror it used to be. In a $30 bottle of pinot noir, yes. That would be bad. In a $7 bottle from Chile? Not so much. Do whatever makes you tolerate the pesticides and human feces. Myself? I add vodka to make it better. Or antifreeze. (Keep away from pets).

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  17. Drinking cold wine with ice in it is better than drink wine from a box. Yeah, my ex-MIL was classy that way. THEN, she would pour it into a 7-11 big gulp plastic cup and ADD ICE and drive around in her scooter.
    Please don't get me started on my mother's texting. That is a post in itself. ;)

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  18. I AM a mom who texts. And grandmother if you want to get technical. My youngest daughter and I text fairly often and I don't think I annoy her...much. SIL texts above and beyond calling. It's usually easier to reach her by text than by phone. Plus it came in handy when the daughters were setting up the surprise birthday party for Hubs and needed to ask me stuff.

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  19. Oh my lordie. You crack me up. And I would probably fall over watching ice cubes drop into a glass of chilled red wine! Fainted.

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  20. My mom texts and she gets totally carried away with the abbreviated text; to the point where I have to tell her I don't even know what she's trying to say it's so abbreviated. Oh moms... gotta love them!

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  21. My mother's texts are in German or something. I usually have no clue what she is trying to say. And the word "ass" always ends up in there somewhere.

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  22. Oh, dear god...you are all talking about these old ladies (your mothers) and causing me to have a panic attack (well...sort of) I am realizing that I am clearly older than most of your mothers and I do text. Yes, and I know how to text. Also, I have fingernails but even on the IPhone 4S (which for all you moms out there reading this and realizing how inept you all are about texting...has a touch screen as opposed to a keyboard) Still... I can manage not to type sAle.

    Oh and one more thing..while I truly am laughing because I find your shit funny, funny, funny...remember girls, these old fogie parents of yours adore you. Still, they all need to get decent smart phones and know how to use them. They might fall and aren't able to get up.


    Gia, you know I am kidding right? Except for the part that I am older than your mother probably by a lot.

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  23. you've made more progress with her than I have with my mother. Everytime I send a text to my mum she seems to think this is a queue for her to call me...

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  24. That ice still kills me...LOL

    Good luck with teaching your mom to text. My dad likes to text me random letters he swears are real abbreviations!

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  25. If I get a text from my parents, I'll pass out. They've been dead for years. Texting is the primary source of communication for Favorite Young Man and me. The Hurricane does not like to text. She says it runs down her phone battery too quickly. But she emails occasionally and we enjoy very long phone calls.

    Love,
    Janie

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  26. I want to figure out how to get my mom to stop buying $5 wine made in her hometown. Will you work on that for me?

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  27. My whole family does, including my 80 year old grandparents. I hate talking on the phone. If it can be texted, I'm texting.

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  28. I hate texting, but I will send emails like nobody's business. My dad texts me occasionally, but it's usually to tell me something quick. My mom doesn't even know how to work her dvd player, much less text.

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  29. My mom has a cell phone but she doesn't know how to text OR call. She just knows how to read text messages and answer calls. So I always have to call her when I need to tell her something. It's bad. Really bad.

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  30. Haha I want my mom to get a cell phone, but I will need to teach her how to text. Too bad she's at the other end of the country :S
    Oh, reminder: mother's day is just a couple of weeks away!

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  31. No one in my family texts with the exception of my sister. I have a texting plan, I just ignore the texts. I find them annoying.

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  32. Oh, except when I want to break up with someone. I text to dump.

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  33. I bought the elderly lady that works for me a cellphone a couple of years ago. This was her first text to me,"HELLOMAMICANTWORKTODAYICOMETOMORROW"

    My mom has recently discovered how to uncap so after years of shouting at us her texts are a lot more civil.

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  34. DSM does not text. This is probably a good thing, because she also tends to forget what her ring tone is and then bitch because "somebody" won't answer their damn phone. IT'S YOUR PHONE, DSM!

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  35. if i don't call home now and then my dad uses gtalk or msn or emails me or skype to track me down...he is the nerd of the family, he can print form his phone and access his computer drives from it... *sigh*

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  36. I swear it gets better. My grandparents on the other hand...it's just too much for them.

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  37. I would much rather text someone than call them. Its soooo much easier!! My parents do not text, but they both have smart phones. So I send them emails that I would have normally sent as texts. Its kind of weird, but somehow easier for them.

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  38. Ha! I love this post. My dad always texts me before he calls me. "Will call u now." Okkkaaaayyyyy......or you could just call and see if I answer. To be fair, I think he's making sure I'm around, but in reality, he calls whether or not I respond to his text. Oh, parents.

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  39. My mother is texting illiterate, along with being computer illiterate and knowing how to turn on the DVD player illiterate.

    So, no, we don't text. --.--

    -Barb the French Bean

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  40. My dad HAS to text me. Because of the hearing problems I can't hear him when he talks so texting allows me to know what he needs to tell me. I can hear my mom just fine, but I claim hearing probs so she will just text instead of call.

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  41. First off, love your drawings! :)

    My mom is the only one who doesn't text and, to be honest, I'm kinda okay with that... hehehe

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  42. My mom just sucks ass at texting. She texts like a 3rd grader.

    ~The G is Silent

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