Monday, April 16, 2012

Things that Make Boyfriend Angry: a Dinner Adventure

[Note: Linking up with yeahwrite this week! Also, it's been a super busy time for me at work, so I'm not posting tomorrow. I decided it's best to just leave this post up for two days rather than vomit something incoherent on the blog tomorrow. New post on Wednesday!]


Like any normal person, Boyfriend occasionally gets pissy. What kind of things make Boyfriend pissy, you ask? Well, let’s talk about dinner last weekend.

Boyfriend was hungry. He and I both get stabby when we’re hungry. It’s best to feed him as soon as possible. Like he's an angry bear.

We decided to go to a local crappy restaurant – “Peppers,” if you will. There’s never a lot of cars there, so we figured we wouldn’t have to wait [WARNING SIGN].

So, we go in, sit down, and meet our waiter, Dumbass.

Note: Boyfriend and I both hate it when waiters lean over the table so they can be right in your face. I know it’s probably their training, but holy shit it’s annoying.

I get a veggie burger on a wheat bun.



Boyfriend orders an entrĂ©e and an appetizer that he doesn’t even really want, but is stabby hungry and needs food.
A million minutes later, Boyfriend finally asks:

Before he could go get it, someone else comes out with our entrees.

When the waiter  finally comes over with the appetizer, Boyfriend is pissy.

Then, we see the entrees.
It's a veggie burger with cheese on it. Shut up.



THIS IS A LIE.
Remember earlier? That made Boyfriend angry. 


Approximately 7 minutes later (which is way too long to wait for a bun when your Boyfriend is stabby hungry and angry), I got my bun.





Of course, when the waiter dropped off the check without asking if we wanted anything else, he didn’t clear our plates or anything. Now we get why Peppers is so empty all the time.

It wasn't exactly the best dinner we've ever had, I'd say. But, I did my best to power us through it.


92 comments:

  1. This post filled me with rage. I'm with your Boyfriend. That obnoxious waiter should be subject to waterboarding. When they get in your face AND screw up your order AND are just bad at their job, the only proper response is murderous rage.

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  2. He didn't even apologize for his errors/the delay? That is not only bad service; that is extremely RUDE.

    (When I'm hungry, I get stabby to the point of wanting to set off nukes on entire restaurant chains unless they bring me food post-haste.)

    -Barb the French Bean

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  3. "vomit something incoherent on the blog". But, how would we be able to tell? Some of your best posts have been somewhat incoherent vomited up from somewhere within you. Can't make that shit up.

    That sort of experience is why we don't go out for dinner much. Just as a word of advice, don't ever go into a restaurant, any restaurant, on Vancouver Island. I'm just saying.

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  4. I'm going to assume this guy hardly gets any tips. My brother had a worse waiting time at applebees, he sad they took something like 1 to 2 hours. By 30 mins, I would've walked out of there.

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  5. Omg... I am ALWAYS complaining about the service over here in France but we seem to be getting off lightly. I hope you didn't tip!! I wouldn't have been able to keep my cool. When I am murderous hungry and getting annoyed by some incompetent fool I can't hold in my rage. I am hungry right now... and am getting real mad thinking about this. I must go eat... or punch someone,

    Love Elle xo

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  6. Am I strange in that the first thing I thought of was to wonder if he spit on the bun before he gave it to you?

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  7. I've been a server so I try to be more tolerant that your average patron but when they can't get a simple order right it's infuriating. 2 summers ago 4 friends and I went to a BBQ place on Long Island during memorial day weekend. To keep it short, there was a wait to sit (fine, there was a wait for our server to take the order (fine) and then there was the wait for the food. 45 minutes later, after complaining to the manager, we were informed the order was never put in. Needless to say the entire bill was comped.

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  8. Well at least you were adventurous and tried somewhere new! (I'm trying to be positive here!)

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  9. I'm usually pretty patient with servers because I know how much of a dick people can be with tipping, but when stuff like this happens, I also get an anger stroke (I love that term) and leave an asshole tip. No, I don't leave nothing. I leave an asshole tip, like 5 pennies and a scratch piece of paper that says learn to do your job, this is a hard economy and you don't need a college degree to remember that a burger has a bun. In the future you'll probably be replaced with a robot arm and a conveyor belt.

    Too harsh?

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  10. Sounds like a pretty lousy dining experience Gia. Hubs would tell you to contact their corporate people and complain. Unfortunately that might get you a free meal and I'll bet Boyfriend doesn't want to go back there again, even for a free meal!

    @ABFTS - Not harsh at all! Hubs had a bad experience one night and made a point of leaving a single penny - in the bottom of a full water glass. He thinks if you don't leave a tip after bad service the server might think you're an ass who just forgot or doesn't tip at all. They could be in denial about how bad they are after all.

    On the other hand, one New Year's Eve he and his Ex had dinner out and he overheard their server tell another server that she could not wait to get off work. But she was around a corner and didn't know Hubs heard it and when she waited on them she was polite and cheerful and even asked them if they wanted dessert. He left her a $20 tip because he knew from overhearing that she was anxious to be off but STILL did a great job for them.

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  11. I spent many a year on the front lines of the server wars.

    Consquently, I am now a shitty servers nightmare. I come unhinged at bad service. I know for a fact it's not even close to being the hardest job around and if you don't do it well you don't make any money at it, so why bother doing it?

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  12. I am so on your Boyfriend's side but I would have acted like you... this is me in the restaurant...."Oh, I am just great as I don't want to make waves, as you have the shittiest job in the world and you really suck at it...let's just tattoo a big ole L on your forehead now."

    I am famous for emailing bad joojoo to the corporate office (if Pepper's is a chain restaurant)because I like to shoot off my mouth (well actually shoot off my typing) after the fact just because I am a latent trouble maker.

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  13. So I wrote something very long where I talked about the same experience I've had with suck-ass restaurants but it's too long so I deleted it. But I agree with you. Hunger + bad service + annoying waiter = SPARTAAAAA!!!!!

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  14. I recommend setting out snack foods for Boyfriend -- all the time. Make a variety available. That way he won't get stabby hungry. He can always have some nachos or veggies and dip or whatever he likes. Just feed him non-stop while you drink wine. You'll be happy. He'll be happy. It's all good, Mama.

    Love,
    Janie

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  15. Awww no! One time I went to a restaurant with my bf and our friends. The waitress actually threw the menu at us, was chewing gum, sighed after taking our order, didn't clear any of our stuff, and then instead of giving us the bill she went to another table (her friends?) and sat down with them, eating nachos. :S No one but me gave her a tip. And when she noticed, she said out loud ''cheap bastards.'' O.o

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  16. ARGH! I hate it when waiters are stupid imbecile moron idiots. I thought boyfriend was going to punch Dumbass in the face. Love your face in the last pic!

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  17. I can definitely understand the stabbiness. But I fall firmly in the "conflict avoider" camp, even when faced with horrible service.

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  18. I HATE BAD SERVICE. Especially working in the industry as long as I had- it just fucking PISSES ME OFF> please find a way to email this to Peppers so they know they fucking suck!

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  19. Adorable last cartoon. Also? Burn the place down. I fucking hate shit like that that is just absurd - when there is hardly anyone else there to even wait on. You have one simple job. BRING ME FOOD.

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  20. I totally feel for people who work customer service, because it's hard! But at the same time, I can't stand it when servers are all in-your-face, and I can't STAND being delivered the check before they are even sure I'm finished. Ugh! I'm with boyfriend, totally stabby when I'm hungry. Like a hungry bear.

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  21. Also I'm glad that you understand. I was with friends recently in NOLA and the waitress brings our food, after a long long time. My food was gross. Not her fault, but... she goes "uh do you want anything else?" And I say "yeah it would be great if you bring us our drinks." And my friends thought I was being bitchy. 20 minutes and you haven't brought us our drink order? Really? Grr.

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  22. I understand being "stabby hungry", though I usually refer to myself as "the hungry hulk" when that happens. I love the cartoons on your post!

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  23. I abhor bad service and detest that uncomfortable feeling of trying to come up with niceties to make my dinner partner feel better. Why is it, we can't just wave a magic wand for all to be happy? Because morons bring cheese instead of buns.

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  24. LOL I heard you ask for that bun. I really did!! It's up there...just scroll up!! lol

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  25. The cartoons kick ass...I hate dickhole waiters! Fun post!

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  26. oh, I really don't like when waiters lean in or squat down next to you...yuck, yuck, yuck!

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  27. bad service sucks! I usually ask to speak to a manager and let them know how disappointed I was or I go online and email them. So far I have always gotten a gift card, free app..comped meal! You should try it!

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  28. You crack me up. I hate when I get stabby hungry too. :)

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  29. Oh man, bad service pisses me off so much.

    In the UK, you can ask for the service charge to be removed. If the service isn't fucking amaze-balls, that's exactly what I do. Much to the embarassment of my friends.

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  30. This sort of shit happens to me all the time. Love that you had the bunless burger picture twice. Loved the "important for later" note!! Funny!!

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  31. Oh I would be so dissapointed with a bunless burger! What's the point?!

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  32. uhhh i also hate it when you know they are faking it...just bring me my damn food...i am sorry to all you waiter/waitresses out there who have to deal with me :(

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  33. I've got a post in draft about tipping bad service. I will have to link this one!

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  34. I used to be a server in my younger days, so I try and be tolerant and empathetic and polite, but I would have gone from polite to bitch in less than 60 seconds in your shoes. No excuse for terrible service like that.

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  35. Oh boy. My husband is all about dinner. "What's for dinner?" I mean, does he expect me to cook dinner EVERY NIGHT? Geez. Then he gets all pissy. Huh. Men and food.

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  36. Ha! Boyfriend sounds like my Dad at a restaurant. I'm always trying to overcompensate for crappy service by telling him how awesome my meal is...it never works.

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  37. It doesn't seem like your annoying waiter has a notepad in his hand....which means he's relying on his memory for your order. Which would make me even more angry when the order was wrong. How can you tell me that I said 'no bun' when you didn't even write it down.

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    Replies
    1. Actually, I didn't bother drawing this, but he did have a pad! And he wrote down "wheat bun" and READ IT BACK TO ME when I ordered! It was bonkers.

      Delete
  38. Hahaha, I love your site so much. It's like peeking into your life via cartoon. I'm there! I see, I believe and I love it.

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  39. I am the pissiest of people when I need to eat. I think boyfriend did a pretty good job if that was the extent of his freak out.

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  40. I'm very forgiving of waiters - it's a tough job. I was REALLY, REALLY good at being a waiter. So my forgiveness is actually condescension. Which makes it not very nice at all.

    Love the "important for later" arrows!

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  41. So the last time SH and I went to "Peppers" our server was a scary girl I used to know who pretended she didn't know me...we both got violently ill minutes after leaving.

    I waited tables. Some things aren't your fault. Sending a burger out without a bun...that's your fault. I don't care if there are runners or if the cooks have it out for you, it's not wrong until it gets to the table, so check your food. Also, don't argue with the customer. You will always lose.

    Great post!

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  42. I also turn into a bear when I'm hungry...or do I mean a different B word? Anyway, as usual, you made a miserable situation hilarious. Loved the post. :-)

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  43. I love you so much.

    ~The G is silent

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  44. At least you get bad service and food in restaurants that make sense. Whenever I take my girlfriend out to lunch at a nice place, they always seem to fuck up somehow. :\

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  45. Always funny - even with sucky service you turn it into creative fodder. I love that about you.

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  46. stabby angry hungry- i completely understand.

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  47. I worked as a server for a lot years so I am tolerant...up to a point. A full dining room and the waitstaff running their butts off? I can be patient as Job. If the only diner in the place, I expect alacrity!

    But.... I think I would have been afraid to eat that bun when he finally brought it. He probably swiped it across his ... um... something. Probably something gross, too.

    Never send back eggs in a restaurant. When they come back, they might very well contain more than just eggs. And don't ever order root beer in a restaurant, either, unless you can see the soda fountain. Lessons learned.

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    Replies
    1. PATRICIA I MUST KNOW WHAT GOES INTO THE ROOT BEER!!!

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  48. Once we ate at an Applebees, my bun was moldy. He didn't take it from me, he just brought me the top of another bun to replace it. Not even an entire new bun. Just the top. We've never, ever been back. We never ever will.

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  49. Too Funny. Trying to guess the real restaurant. :)

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  50. So according to the waiter if you order vegetarian you don't eat bread?! hahaaa

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  51. Your pics were so hilarious I nearly pissed myself. That hasn't happened in...hours.

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  52. Is it wrong that I wanted to punch the dumb, ever-smiling waiter in your drawings?

    Very funny stuff!

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  53. OMG! I am laughing out loud right now. My husband is staring at me. The pictures are so damn funny. I love your blog! The last picture was priceless, since I stalk, (ahem) follow you on Twitter, I got the sister wives joke. Good distraction!~

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  54. Wow, what an 'adventure! We have never experienced such situation. Hopefully we will not.

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  55. as an experienced waitress, i can say: you should have let boyfriend punch your waiter. waiting tables might be a challenge, but that shit is ridiculous. on the bright side, i hope your veggie burger was delicious...

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  56. Ugh! How frustrating! But at least you got a really really funny, well illustrated blog post out of it!

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  57. Haha I love this!!! It's so simple and meaningless when my food comes out wrong but it makes smoke come out of my ears.....

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  58. Oh this was so funny. I'm always ordering veggie things (because I'm a vegetarian, whaddya know) and it's amazing how frequently they come out wrong or with some meat in the dish, in which case I howl and weep. No tip and my husband has an anger stroke on my behalf. Better to stay home with chocolate and whiskey.

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  59. -dude- no shit this really happened? I would be stabby too

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    Replies
    1. Yes! And i left off the part where he wrote down my order because I didnt feel like drawing it.

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  60. I was working a food show for a wholesaler today when four people came up and were looking for something for their menu. They looked like a skinny Sam Kinnison only dressed worse. They had bought a restaurant that had previously been a gold mine and a home town legend. I just shook my head. I'll never even attempt to go there. There are some scary places to eat. I'm sorry you picked a bad one.

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  61. OK, as if right now you have 65 comments, or 64, I lost count. It's all been said already. LOL.

    So I'm commenting that I'm not commenting, except to say: thanks for YOUR comments on my Twitter post!

    Oh, and I'm never eating at Peppers.

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  62. Please tell me you didn't tip. I am always the moron who tips shitty waiters. It just leads them to believe they can get away with it.

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    Replies
    1. Hahah he did, but not as much as usual. I mean, incompetent employees in other jobs still get paid, right?

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  63. Usually I stay cleared from empty restaurants, unless recommended by a trusted source. Better to grab MacDonalds on the go - same thing, less anger.

    p.s. I'm like boyfriend, I get mega-cranky when hungry or sleepy. I could kill.

    www.mamaandthecity.com

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  64. Bad service is a HUGE pet peeve with me...not to mention all the tipping we have to do...like a cab driver? Isn't it his job to drive people around? And a hairdresser...paid to cut hair? How come I don't get tipped for all the book keeping I do? Oh, I feel a rant coming on...I best stop now. Funny post, as usual. :)

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  65. Is it just me or does bad service always seem to happen when you're starving, or like you said, stabby hungry?

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  66. That drives me mental when my appetizer never appears and then suddenly my food arrives--and I too get stabby hungry so I've come very close to getting some waiters.

    Anger stroke. Yes.

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  67. I think it may be time for a strongly worded email, or thickly penned "anger stroke" drawing, to the corporate office of "fill in the blank" chain restaurant. Oh, aren't there just 4 sister wives or has he added more?

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  68. I get stabby when I'm hungry, too. I'm just impressed that boyfriend's head managed to stay in place during his anger stroke. The top of mine usually splits open and a little red alien pops out and starts shooting fire out of his eyeballs.

    Or at least that's what it feels like.

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  69. My wife likes to give me a little warning "babe, I'm getting Hangry(hugry and angry)"... that's when I know I better feed her.

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  70. Whenever I get bitchy my husband's Pavlovian response is to shove food in my mouth. I get it.

    Bad service is just... bad!

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  71. I cannot stress enough how much I loathe poor service. My sister, brother, and brother-in-law all worked or presently work in food service and I've waited tables, it's a hard job, but that just means you work harder amirite? Ugh. On behalf of all customers everywhere I say, Fuck You, CRAPPY WAITER GUY!

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  72. There is no excuse for crappy service. I was a waitress in high school and college. As bitchy as I am on a regular basis, I managed to save my bitchiness and hatred of all humans for my home life. As it should be.

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  73. Ugh! I hate dining experiences like that, especially since we go out to dinner so infrequently. I, too, get stabby hungry. My husband is always reminding me to have a snack like I'm a 5-year-old.

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  74. Oh man, that sucks!! But hey, how ABOUT those sister wives?

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  75. Hilarious. I love these illustrations.

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  76. I was a waitress for a long time, which makes me both a better and a more demanding customer (along hte lines of "if I could do this, so the hell can you). And I HATE when the waiter introduces himself. I don't give a shit what your name is, or where you're from, and hte fact that you're standing at the table asking my order has clued me into the fact that "you're going to be my server tonight." You should probably have just stayed in and eaten cheese-and-crackers. It's one of the great problems of heterosexual coupling, I find, that men cannot be happy with cheese-and-crackers for dinner. With maybe some wine. It's a perfectly balanced meal. Sheesh.

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  77. Haha! You crack me up with these animations. Sounds like the bf is just like every man!

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  78. God, this is hilarious. As always. HILARIOUS!

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  79. OK, the ending is hilarious. Not that I would ever poke the stabby or anything like that.

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  80. I followed a link and ended up here and have to say love the art work.........but not the point the point is that sounds like really shitty service makes you wonder how such places stay in business.......
    now for me to read some other of your posts and see if they messure up,if not I will tell you so becuase I am such a honest woman, yes I am honestly honest...........ok maybe not that honest and maybe I wouldn't say you don't measure up but I have high hopes that you will...........lol

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  81. "Peppers", eh? Why would he *not* bring a bun? That is not the default when ordering a burger. Loved the ending, and hopefully you went home and had some wine :)

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  82. We once at at a pretty fancy Italian Steakhouse and they served me what appeared to be weasel meat but my FIL was buying so I couldn't say anything. I emailed them later and they never responded. I was totally expecting some free food or booze. A$$h*les.

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