Thursday, April 5, 2012

Seriously, Has It Been Ten Days yet?

So, my plan was to give you guys another bad poem today. I think it was going to be about cats. And hopefully include the line "I don't mind if your poo is poisonous." BUT, I've been totally distracted with Boyfriend's vacation (and also surfing the internet, if I'm being honest). 

Sure, I feel a tiny bit pathetic because Boyfriend isn't really gone for that long, but... youu guyyyyssss, I misssssss hiiiiiiiiiiiim.  So, here's some random texting between Boyfriend and I:

Me: I miss you! 
Boyfriend: Sorry I haven't had time to miss you
Me: Heyyy
Boyfriend: Sorry
Me: Okay in theory if you weren't so busy...
Boyfriend: I could potentially miss you ever so slightly.
Isn't he the sweetest?!

Boyfriend: Saw a rich old geezer with a young hottie today. Ick. She had a sweet ass though.
Me: Was it Alec Baldwin and his fiance? And did it make you miss me?
Boyfriend: No and not really

Boyfriend: Oops sorry! Already have three wives!!
Someone's getting stabbed. 

Boyfriend: Horseback riding in the morning
Me: Be careful that can sometimes hurt your balls and you don't like horses
Yes, I'm adding this to my list of fears.

Oh and I sent him this email:

Hi honey! In case you get internet service at some point, please see attached.

His response: When are you not drinking!  It would be pretty easy to fall in though.

Seriously, that's not funny. 


  1. Maybe you can work all of this into a poem to deal with this traumatic experience? Now I am off googling Alec Baldwin and his fiancée!

  2. The horse fear is totally legitimate. Horses are bitter at us. Look what one did to Superman.

  3. It's ok to miss him. But obsessing? Could be trouble! Just kidding! He will be home soon enough and then you could get back to a normal level of suffocation! (kidding again)

  4. Let me just talk about Alec Baldwin for a minute. I was a huge fan of his because I love him in 30 Rock, but he has lied to the American public! He said he would not date a youngin' because, well, I forget why, but there he is. Dating a youngin'.

  5. That sweet ass comment necessitates a serious punch in his arm when he gets back. It's required. And in the rule book. I checked.

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  7. If he leaves a lot, eventually you'll get to the point where you almost enjoy the solitude. I promise.

  8. Y'all are so cute. I love how you put all this effort in to your conversations and he just tosses out the equivalent of Neanderthal grunts. (See How to Be the Best Boyfriend Ever, Part II.)

    No offense, Boyfriend. :)

  9. Aww sooo cute! I hope you'll tell us what happens when Boyfriend finally comes home. Don't leave ANYTHING out please! :-)

  10. Have you tried heavy sedation? You can sleep the whole time he's gone (or hibernate, technically) and when he comes home he'll have had time to miss you because you aren't texting him a ton. Win/win?

  11. Note to self: do not drink Diet Coke while reading Gia. Spittakes may ensue.

  12. I agree with AFftS, but by "heavy sedation" I'd recommend a lot more wine!

  13. He misses you!!! Those wives ain't got nothin on ya ;) hahaha

  14. Didn't someone say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" or something sappy like that? Give it time Sweetie, he'll look forward to the reunion by the time he gets home.

  15. I once had a moment with Alec Baldwin. Our eyes locked on a sidewalk and I totally eye-fucked the shit out of him.

    He kept walking. Maybe even walked a little faster.

    True story.

  16. I see your guy is a sweet talker, huh? How many days into this trip is he??? Are we clear on if he has taken any Morman wives yet? Let me know if he has wed anyone else...I have given some thought to how to get your sister wives to look over the edge of the canyon...way over.

  17. Ha ha ha! You two are a riot! :D So, what are his three wives' names?

    -Barb the French Bean