So, I love my sister, but she kind of drives me crazy.
Like, she has terrible taste in wine. Freals, she’s a rule breaker:
AND not only does she drink shitty wine with ICE in it, she’s picky about brands.
No joke. Even though we had a bottle of white zin in the house, she made us stop at a liquor store to get Sutter Home because “she wasn’t sure if she’d like that brand.” Really? Don’t get me wrong, I have favorite brands, but white zin is white zin is pisswater, you know?
And I swear, she’s definitely smart, but sometimes…she’s an idiot, you know what I mean? Like this conversation happened once.
Sister: [while looking at her laptop] What’s the big deal about tae bow?
Sister: Tay bow?
Sister: The football player…
Me: It’s TEBOW, sis. *facepalm *
And then another time this happened:
Me: Maybe when I move I’ll have enough to buy a flatscreen instead of my old crappy tv. Besides, it’d be easier to move…
Sis: No wouldn’t it be harder?
Me: Harder? No. Flat screens are so much lighter and less bulky than the old tvs!
Sis: It’s not heavier?
Sis: But isn’t the shape harder to carry?
Me: NO! What is wrong with you?
Sis: Oh. I don’t know.
Anyhoo, that’s my sister. And her birthday is coming up. These are the things she wants for it:
1. Silver ball stud earrings. Not too big, not too small. She’s very picky. She might as be saying here “Buy me earrings in the wrong size but make sure to keep the receipt so I can return them and buy what I really want.”
2. A cd. Because she still doesn’t have an mp3 player. Yeah, she’s stuck in the stone age. Seriously, she has walkmen. The kind for cds AND tapes. No, don’t make fun of me because I didn’t have a ipod until Boyfriend bought me one for my birthday. It’s different with me.
3. A no-clip curling iron. This is just stupid. End of discussion.
4. Another cat. Okay, she didn’t actually ask for this because she already has two, but I feel like she may start collecting them soon.
I convinced my mom all those ideas were terrible, and we should get her a kindle fire instead. Wooohooo!!! It’ll be good for the following reasons:
1. She reads a lot
2. Her laptop is the slowest thing on the planet
3. Until now, she’s still been going to BLOCKBUSTER. (I know, right?!) Anyhoo, the one near her closed down, so she’s going to need a new way to watch movies. And she can’t use her laptop to do it, because see #2.
It’s coming in soon, but I’m kind of dreading giving it to her. Because she’s
not-so-great bad really bad pretty awful fucking terrible
at technology. Like, she bought a digital camera over a year ago and uses it
but does not know how to put the pictures on the laptop or load them on to Facebook.
THAT bad. So, I know she’s going to open it, look at it, not understand how
great it is, and do this to me: