Monday, January 30, 2012

Scattered Update: Sister Got a Kindle.


My sister’s birthday was last week, so I went home last weekend to give her the kindle fire I wrote about here

It went…alright. When I first gave it to her this happened:

A few seconds later:


And as predicted:



So, we spent most of the weekend figuring it out. It’s not taking her long to get used to how much quicker the kindle is than her stupid terrible laptop, so I think she’ll like it. Eventually.

Nothing terribly entertaining came up around the kindle, but she did drop these gems:

1. This is an election year, right?



I brought up the SC primary, and that came out. Nuff said. [And not to get all political, but seriously? They'd rather vote for an adulterer than a mormon? It's okay that to be whoring it up around town when your wife has cancer, but it's not okay to have secret magical Jesus underwear? Seriously?!? I don't really care what religion you are, but I do care if you're a shitty person. Hey Newt, YOU'RE A SHITTY PERSON. Okay, I'm done talking politics. Don't hate me please.]

2. Want some ice with that wine?

She was getting white zin for herself and her friend, and her friend said no thanks. When my sis handed it to her, the friend went “Oh, it’s cold already! Why would I need ice?” EXACTLY, friend.

3. I don’t like maps.

The last thing that bugged me was not an incident exactly. Mostly, it’s her general inability to understand where places are in relation to one another due to her unwillingness to look at maps. She tried to argue with me that it made sense for me to go with my parents' house to another town together rather than drive myself.  But in reality it’s like this:



CLEARLY, it’d be a huge waste of time for us to carpool. I pulled up googlemaps and tried to show her, but she kept going “I don’t want to look.” Seriously?!??! YOU SHOULD KNOW WHERE THINGS ARE.

Cue me shrilly yelling: LOOK AT THE MAP!! LOOK AT THE MAP!!!!!

Ay ya yi.


36 comments:

  1. I really hope you installed some failsafes on that kindle so that when she really annoys you, you can click a button and make it turn off at a moments notice. Just wait for her to get addicted to it first and then BAM! Total control over her!

    Also, seriously, No Frikking Ice in the Wine!

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  2. Willful ignorance is frustrating, and refusing to look at a map to gain a new understanding is the same as saying, "No, I don't want to learn something new because I'm happier not having knowledge!"
    Now that her friend called her out for the ice in wine, do you think it will make any difference? Probably not, right?

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  3. Awww I think you guys are being too harsh on her! She's female! Many females don't look at maps; we prefer to ask our way around ;-) Love the post! So funny how you bring out and illustrate your characters. Good stuff!

    Side note: I've changed my name from Gloria to Bozo, seeing as you're the one who brought the name to my attention - I'm sure you'll stand by me through this traumatic, although exciting, change.

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  4. awwhh I am a bit like your sister in regards to directions...I try...I really try but I still get lost most of the time :(

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    1. Oh I get lost too. But I make an honest effort and look at maps at least...

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  5. I love your sister. It's like she'd rather be Amish. I have a friend qho was trying to drive to the next city east of us - an hour drive - when she ended up in another state 3 hours south of us, she finally decided to look at google maps. Here's to the nonbelievers.

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  6. I hate when people ask me what year it is. How can you not know when you're living in it already? It'd be different if she said something like "What year did we file our joint taxes? Was it 2011 or 2012?" That's acceptable.

    Oh shit, another work rant. Sorry. :-/

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  7. I still giggle when I think about your family putting ice cubes in their wine.

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  8. Ok, how old is Sister? Our generation just *knows* how to work electronics of any type. Also... did you happen to see the Twitter picture of metal ice cubes I sent you a few weeks ago. Clearly they were made with Sister in mind. However... ice, in cold wine? Just no.

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  9. I try with the maps but I suck super hard at it. In Europe I caused us to miss an exit. I just said, "Oh, we'll just take the next one. No big." Well, the next exit was like 15 km away. Therefore I love my gps.

    My mom drinks white zin with ice and still has not downloaded music on to her iPhone or iPod shuffle. I'm pretty sure she never will. She learned how to text from my niece, so she texts like a 14 year old girl. Lots of "c u 2morrow" and 10 exclamations points after every sentence.

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  10. If I need to give up listening to gay musicians I prefer a womaniser over a Mormon. The candidate bunch is more of morons than Mormons. Your sister sounds lot like me, I prefer compass over google maps, hate ice on anything, and need constant reminders About day,week,month etc and not big fan of gadgets highly committed to gadgets I am comfortable with. Good to know that I am mot alone.

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  11. Haha, sounds like a very eventful time. Sounds kind of like my brother.

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  12. Anyone who drinks white zinfandel with or without ice needs a beating.

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  13. Your sister sounds.... Fun. Like, oodles and oodles of fun. You lucky duck, you!

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  14. Yeah, Newt blows big ones. I'm pretty sure if he gets elected that I should move to the UK.

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  15. Kindle Fire? Aren't those the color ones? Fresh!

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  16. A kindle sounds awesome!!! What is it? lol ... I kid, I kid.

    but the ice in the wine is horrible! Especially if the wine is already chilled. lol

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  17. Be grateful for your family....if it wasn't for them, you'd have to fight with your friends. ;)

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  18. Wait. I don't look at maps either. :)

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  19. I'd say all of the candidates are horrible people, in their own special ways.

    Ice in wine? Yuck-o-rama!

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  20. Hahaha, I'll agree with you on newt. He's a scumbag, and that's all I have to say about that.
    Your sister sounds like the kind of person you need to follow around with a notepad, writing down everything ridiculous that she says... although, it seems like you already do that, so props to you!!

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  21. Your sister sounds like my Nana. Except I think Nana knows how to drink wine. She wouldn't let my sister hook up Skype over Christmas so she could see my kids while my Gramps was in Chemo. She made Gramps go in and double check that my 24 year old tech savvy sister hadn't broken or messed up the computer. Nana can't even turn the darn thing on.

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  22. My wine never lasts long enough for there to even be a need for ice. And it's prohibited in my house. Ice, I mean. Not wine. That would be tragical. I don't think the ppl I liive with would be able to tollerate me if wine weren't allowed. But there should never be a need for ice in wine. If there is,your not doing it right.

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  23. We had a friend that was the Queen of great questions. Here are some of my favorites:

    "What's the name of that dog on SCOOBY DOO?"

    (While trying to convince her that chickens only have two legs, despite the number that were in the package she just bought)
    "Could you run that fast if you only had two legs?"

    (While eating buffalo wings)
    "Is it because of evolution that buffalos no longer have wings? Wait, they must still have them since we are eating them. They probably never could fly. They are too small."

    She is a surgical nurse today.

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  24. I can only assume by her consumption of white zin that she is very, very young. Which begs the question - how does she not know how to work the Fire?

    And magical Jesus drawers? Hell yes. Although really, any sort of magical underwear get me excited.

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  25. I'm still preferring actual books to the electronic kind.

    Also if Ron Paul doesn't win, we all lose. :(

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  26. The ice in wine thing annoys me more than any of the rest of these. The inability to operate a Kindle would also bother me but I've learned to quietly pity non-technically adept people.

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  27. I like your cartoon pictures Gia - Dave

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  28. I try to understand maps, but they're hard.

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  29. If only more people give maps and manuals a go, the world will be a happier place.

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  30. Your sister sounds like every single person over the age of 40 I know.

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  31. I'll be honest, I asked my boyfriend today if it was 2011.. before he answered I went on to say.. so the olympics is like a whole year away

    Seriously dude.

    Also, ice in wine? Is that even a thing??

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