Hi everyone! I hope you all had a great weekend. How am I doing, you ask? Well:
Boyfriend is going to New Orleans today and staying until Thursday and I’m super worried for numerous reasons. In no particular order:
Remember, he agreed to no sluts. But still….they’re still around in all their slutty glory. I mean, he’s going to a work conference. Isn’t that code for whoring it up for a week?
|My greatest fear realized.|
2. Sluts with diseases
Otherwise known as ZOMBIE SLUTS.
Boyfriend has to fly there. And back. This worries me. Uncomfortable honesty: I have a too active imagination sometimes and I started thinking about what it would be like if I found out Boyfriend’s plane went down and it made me cry a little okay let’s stop talking about this anyway tra la la I like wine see
Yeah. Too active imagination.
|Stop it, voices in my head! I don't like being the mayor of *this* town!|
4. Meth addicts
|They look like zombies too, right?!?|
Again, it’s called THE BIG EASY.
|It's a voodoo doll. Shut up|
I told Boyfriend to get some kind of talisman to protect him from voodoo curses. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I’m worried about voodoo.
Boyfriend: Don’t be stupid. There’s no such thing.
Me: What if you piss off an old scary voodoo lady?!?
Boyfriend: How would I do that? I’m going to be in my room watching tv all week.
Me: IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE TO PISS OFF A VOODOO LADY
Boyfriend: I don’t believe in voodoo.
Me: THAT DOESN’T MATTER!!!
[Actually, if you’ve seen the Skeleton Key, you’ll know that it totally does matter. But there was no need to explain that to Boyfriend.]
So, unsurprisingly, Boyfriend has no protective talisman or tea or anything. If he comes back and starts experiencing weird pains where the little Boyfriend voodoo doll is getting poked then I’m totally whipping out the I Told You So picture. Or maybe this one if I feel bad. But yeah.
Four days of worry to go! It's gonna be a looong week.