Monday, October 17, 2011

Alcohol: A Survey

Last night, my roommate asked me to fill out a survey on binge drinking for her communications class. I didn’t know whether to act honored or offended, so I filled out the form completely neutrally. Kind of.

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1. How do you feel when friends pressure you to drink in a social setting? 

I take a long hard look at myself to figure out why I was drinking like such a lightweight in the first place. If they’re buying, I really have no excuse. If not, then YOU try spending $8 on a gin and tonic and see how many you get though.

Seriously, I wish I could drink beer because it’s the ONLY thing you can get good happy hour deals on. Unfortunately, beer tastes like kitten death and hops. I really tried hard to learn to drink beer at college (50 cent drafts? Hellz yes!) but, alas, I couldn’t conquer my gag reflex. I’ve learned to pregame and skip meals before drinking to accommodate my budget. But, I digress. Next!

2. When you go out into a social setting is it your intention to binge drink or blackout?

Blackout? No. I never blackout, well except for that one time in college when I totally blacked out. I had pregamed black cherry rum (delicious!) and had maybe 5-6 drinks at a bar, and there are three hours of my life totally unaccounted for.  My friend kindly filled me in, letting me know that my crappy cell phone (circa 2006) didn’t work because I managed to dump my own drink on it (Not accidentally knock my drink into it. But seemingly deliberately pour the drink on the table, where my cell phone was sitting. At least it kept me from sending embarrassing texts). Oh, and I shamelessly came onto a guy we were there with. So awkward. I’m actually cringing as I type that. But yeah, that was the only time.

3. How do you feel about yourself after a night of binge drinking?

Um, pretty good? And is it just me, or is this question a biiiit condescending? Lay off the judgment, marking class. Sometimes I feel hungover, does that count? Guilt or self hatred is usually minimal, as long as my next-day-sent-texts read through doesn’t reveal anything too embarrassing coughcoughdesperatecough. (Though I pride myself on being a decent drunk texter. My compulsion to over-check thing means my texts are generally typo free and usually to the person they were intended for).

4. How do you feel about the short-term and long-term health factors that are involved in drinking?

A glass of wine (especially red) a day is good for you, so I’m congratulating myself for making positive long term decisions regarding my health at such a young age.   If by “short term effects” you’re referring to being hungover, I’m definitely not a fan of being hungover. I try to drink a lot of water before I go to sleep to avoid dehydration (I recommend taking a water bottle to bed with you)

5. Have you ever done something you regretted while binge drinking? 

One time I ate WAAAAY too many almonds while drinking, and vomit-spewed vodka and almonds in my friend’s dorm bathroom for a few hours. Ugh. Yes, it’s as gross as it sounds.  I really don’t know what I was thinking. (Actually, I do. I was thinking, “I’m hungry” and “there’s no food here except for these almonds.”)

6. If/when you are/were underage do/did you have someone else buy you your alcohol?

Nooo, of course not.  Alcohol was delivered by the magic booze fairy when I was underage.

7. Have you ever gotten in illegal trouble from binge drinking?

No. Not “legal trouble” either. Unless you consider vomming like in the aforementioned almonds incident to be “trouble. ” Which, for the record, I don’t.

This is an anonymous survey. However, please put your age and gender.

I’m 23 and female. However, seeing as how this was sent as a group message to a grant total of FIVE people on facebook, I have to question its anonymity. 

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Well, that’s all. I’m hoping that answering these questions before bed will allow visions of wine bottles to dance in my head. 


  1. I never knew, nor thought I'd ever know what "kitten death" tasted like. Now I do. Enlightening. Or disturbing since I actually enjoy beer in all its varieties. I used to love the booze fairy. Put a cork under your pillow and the booze fairy would leave a pack of Bartles and James.

  2. Don't feel bad; plenty of people enjoy kitten death. There's a growler filled with pumpkin flavored kitten death in my fridge right now for Boyfriend.